On-duty deaths test families, Church ministers

The flag-draped caskets of those who have died in the line of duty aren't just scenes on the news from distant place. In the past few weeks, funerals for several fallen soldiers and police officers have been held in parishes of the Albany Diocese:

* Spc. Isaac Nieves of Sacred Heart parish in Sidney was killed April 8 when his combat patrol in Iraq was attacked by individuals with small arms and a homemade bomb.

* Pvt. Nathan P. Brown, a parishioner of St. Alphonsus Church in Glens Falls, was killed in Iraq April 10 when a rocket-propelled grenade hit his Humvee.

* Schenectady police officer Eric Verteramo of St. John the Evangelist parish there died April 11 after losing control of his car and hitting a utility pole while responding to a call.

Line of duty

Parish leaders who have ministered to armed forces or law enforcement families told The Evangelist that no one is ever really prepared to lose a loved one in the line of duty.

"The job is fraught with danger every day," said Rev. Robert Lefebvre, pastor of St. Mary's Church in Albany and long-time chaplain to both the Albany Police Department and the FBI.

Each time a police officer leaves for work, he said, the spouse thinks, "I hope and pray that nothing happens."

Available to help

Father Lefebvre was on hand two weeks ago when Officer Verteramo was taken to Albany Medical Center Hospital, critically injured. The priest administered the Anointing of the Sick as soon as the helicopter landed and spent time with the man's parents.

He also spoke with the dozens of police officers who lined the hallway, waiting for news of Officer Verteramo's condition and grieving when he died that night.

Presence comforting

The priests and deacon with whom The Evangelist spoke agreed that simply being present is often the only comfort they can give.

Rev. James Schiffer, CP, became pastor of St. Theresa's parish in Windham after retiring from 13 years of active duty as an Air Force chaplain. He noted that most family members don't believe loved ones in the armed services will be killed because many of the soldiers are very young.

But "a death is a death and a serious loss," he said. Knowing a relative is in a dangerous job "doesn't change the shock and grieving" if the person is killed; nor does it change how those comforting the grieving perform their ministry.

In his time in the Air Force, Father Schiffer was often part of the team of military personnel sent to tell family members when a loved one died. He accompanied soldiers' commanding officers, personnel from Mortuary Affairs and sometimes medical personnel.

"Usually, when the car pulls up, the neighborhood knows," he said of those visits.

Why, Lord?

The priests said families first ask why their loved one died -- particularly parents, who say that a child should not die before his parents do. Father Schiffer said he never claims it's "God's will" that someone died in the line of duty.

"I try never to give platitudes. That's foolish," he stated. "The inevitable question is why; it's best to just hold their hand, because we don't know why."

Instead, he and Father Lefebvre said they focus on letting grieving people -- especially fellow officers or soldiers, who may try to stifle their emotions -- know that it's okay to cry.

They also let families know that their loved ones had the "last rites," which comforts many.

"The sacraments mean so much to them," Father Lefebvre remarked.

Staying in touch

For Father Schiffer, follow-up is important, as well. When he had to tell a family that someone had been killed, he would try to call a neighbor or relative to stay with them afterward.

He also contacted the local pastor to alert him and made sure the family's doctor knew the situation in case it affected a family member's blood pressure or other health issues. He looked into whether the family's parish had a bereavement support group and visited the family himself every week.

Father Lefebvre prays with families as they say goodbye to their loved one. The ministry of presence, he noted, is "a big, big thing."

Military funeral new experience for deacon at Glens Falls church

St. Alphonsus parish in Glens Falls experienced a surge of media and military personnel in attendance at the April 20 funeral of Pvt. Nathan P. Brown.

"It was our first experience with a full military funeral," said Deacon William Bazinet, who ministers at the parish.

It was also his first experience having to talk to someone he grew up with about the man's son dying in Iraq. Pvt. Brown, a National Guardsman, was killed and three soldiers from his unit were injured April 10 near the Iraqi town of Samarra.

Helping out

"It was probably easier because I wasn't talking with strangers," Deacon Bazinet said of meeting with the Brown family. "When I went into the house, I hugged Rick [Pvt. Brown's father] and said, 'I can't imagine how brokenhearted you must be. We can't make the hurt go away, but we'll do everything we can to make it endurable.'"

Over the next week, the deacon helped the Browns to plan their son's funeral by suggesting appropriate readings and songs. St. Alphonsus' bereavement committee took on duties like making programs and finding ushers.

Deacon Bazinet and the parish staff also dealt with National Guard personnel, who came to look over the church and make suggestions for the funeral. The Guardsmen asked that the church's aisle be made wider to accommodate soldiers escorting the casket, so a row of chairs was removed.

The deacon explained some Church rules to them, including the fact that the flag draping the casket had to be replaced with a funeral pall when the casket was brought into the church.

Funeral Mass

The parish invited several local pastors to concelebrate the funeral Mass along with the principal celebrant, Rev. James Barry Lonergan, pastor of St. Mary/St. Paul's parish in Hudson Falls and a retired Army chaplain. Bishop Howard J. Hubbard also attended.

Deacon Bazinet said that the media arrived early for the funeral and were "very cooperative," staying in the back of the church or in the choir loft to tape the Mass.

"Except for the preparations for the military and knowing we were going to have a humongous crowd, it wasn't all that much different" than a non-military funeral, he said. "It went very, very smoothly."

But the grief over Pvt. Brown's loss was sharper than usual, he said, noting: "I was close enough to [the family] that I was trying not to get emotional" during the funeral. "A couple of times, I had to reach for a hanky." (KB)

(4/22/04) [[In-content Ad]]