Muslim faith, Catholic school combine to shape woman's unique view of world

Although May Khemili-Saffar now calls Clifton Park home, she still feels connected to her hometown of Baghdad, Iraq.

"I have these two parts of my identity -- the American me and the Iraqi me," she told The Evangelist.

Ms. Khemili-Saffar, an activist and schoolteacher, talked about her childhood as a Muslim in an Iraqi Catholic school and about her grownup hopes for religious tolerance in her native land.

Baghdad childhood

Ms. Khemili-Saffar grew up a Shiite Muslim, the daughter of a businessman, in a Baghdad neighborhood known for being cosmopolitan: Her parents' best friends were Jews, her father worked closely with Christians, and one neighbor was a German ambassador.

When it came time to put May in school, her parents chose a Catholic institution. At the time, she said, Catholic schools were "the best in Baghdad," and offered a solid education with strict discipline and order.

Ms. Khemili-Saffar recalls the dress codes and the nuns' religious habits. Students stood up to answer questions and whenever a nun entered or left a room. Talking in class was not allowed, and academic excellence was demanded.

Standards

Those attitudes fit with the Muslim culture at the time, said Ms. Khemili-Saffar.

"The values the Catholic schools embraced were standards that were shared with Muslims," Ms. Khemili-Saffar explained. "Discipline was reinforced at home and in the whole Iraqi society. It wasn't that [students] had to walk into a school and act differently" once they got there.

From early on, she remembers mixing with Christians in social events and scholarly pursuits, and being separated only for religious instruction.

Inspired by nuns

She recalls her teachers as being highly educated; one of her favorites had a degree from the Sorbonne in Paris. "Nuns were well-respected," she said. "We had the very same image of them in Iraq as Americans did."

Ms. Khemili-Saffar said that she owes much of what she calls her "liberal open-mindedness" and her desire to get involved to the Catholic schools.

"The schools made a difference in my life, and I say that with pride," she said. "That exposure [to other faiths] was important, and I had no problem making friends with people of other religions. We talked out our differences, and there were no hard feelings."

Seeking freedom

Ms. Khemili-Saffar left Baghdad in 1984. She found Saddam Hussein's regime oppressive and wanted greater freedom.

"Saddam brought with him a revolution against all the existing values," she said. "It is sad to say it, but I was happy to leave home. I wasn't able to speak my mind."

So, when the chance came to join her then-husband abroad, she took it. But, after a stay in Ireland, she arrived in the United States shortly before the start of the Persian Gulf War.

"I got the looks -- but because I was an Iraqi, not a Muslim," she explained. "As if I were a Saddam implant. I'd say, 'Come on, Saddam is the reason why we're here!'"

Life in U.S.

Being an Iraqi in the United States, she said, presents some challenges, most extremely after 9/11. One of her three children experienced some physical violence at his school because of his religion and nationality, she said.

At the beginning of the war on Iraq, she was ecstatic to see the end of Saddam Hussein's government. However, she was appalled over news of prisoner abuse at Abu Ghraib prison, and is concerned about the possible rise of fundamentalism in the country and the costs of the war.

As much as she wants the war to end soon, she believes an early American withdrawal could mean that an Iraqi democracy might lose its footing.

Election day

"I was very passionate about the election" in Iraq, she said. She was happy to hear that her parents, who still live in Baghdad, "felt empowered. And seeing the amount of women that voted -- it was a joyous, historical event. The fact that this was implemented -- and not just thought about -- warmed my heart."

At the same time, she called the voting a "baby step." She hopes that Iraqis "go beyond" a strict religious fundamentalism and secure a more tolerant leadership.

"There are so many Iraqis like me," she said. "We need to be given a voice and a chance."

She would also like to see more religious collaboration, both in Iraq and in the U.S. People around the world, she said, should "embrace the actual meaning of religion and realize that it is meant for us to be closer together. We are all human, and we all believe in the same God. We need to embrace our commonalities in order to achieve peace in this world."

(May Khemili-Saffar teaches English as a Second Language in the North Colonie school district, serves on the district's globalization task force and takes part in foreign policy roundtable discussions in the area. She is also a graduate student at The University at Albany.)

(3/3/05)