Mentoring times two: Trio still learning about one another

A recent rain shower didn't stop Roy Madsen and his friend, Victor, from getting together. Even on wet afternoons, there's always something for Mr. Madsen and his mentee to do, whether it's gaming, going out for ice cream or just talking.

Mr. Madsen is a mentor with the Saratoga Mentoring Program, a division of Catholic Charities of Saratoga, Warren, and Washington Counties, which receives funding through the annual Bishop's Appeal. The program matches children from single-parent families with adult volunteers to create friendships, introduce the children to new activities, and give them one-on-one attention.

"The goal is for the kids to have a friend," explained program director Stephanie Wolos. "Research shows that mentoring really does work -- that kids who have a mentor do so much better in school and in the community."

Screened and matched

Prospective mentors go through a screening process and background check, and are matched with children who have similar interests, like sports, art or the outdoors. Every month, a staff member contacts mentor and mentee to make sure everything is going well.

Families that reach out to the mentoring program are usually struggling to make ends meet or provide children with the attention they need, according to Ms. Wolos. Often, families hear of the program through other parents, friends or teachers.

Currently, there are 55 mentor-mentee matches and more than 40 children still waiting for a mentor.

"The parents really appreciate it, because many of them don't have the time or energy because of their own struggles," she said. "Kids copy grownups, so we try to have volunteers who are good people with good values and a good work ethic, people who are successful adults, who are stable and steady and consistent -- and a good friend, too."

History

Originally from New Jersey, Mr. Madsen and his wife moved up to Indian Lake to retire. While they enjoyed the Adirondacks, they also had a wonderful time visiting Saratoga's museums and the track. They decided to move there.

One day, Mr. Madsen noticed a tear-off sheet describing the mentoring program in a coffee shop. Interested, he called to volunteer.

"I just think that everybody should help," he explained. "It's really that simple, if you have the time and the capacity. It's been a wonderful experience. I recommend it to everyone."

Recently, he waited outside Victor's school at the end of the day, as he does three or four times a month. Victor emerged running, wearing athletic shoes with black-and-white checkered laces, a smile and a skateboarder's tousled hair.

They'd planned on flying a kite, but the rain was picking up, so they discussed alternatives. In the past, they'd played dominoes, beaded bracelets, competed at Monopoly, gone fishing, thrown Frisbee and taken in movies. When they make paper airplanes, Victor's always fly better than Mr. Madsen's. 

"Every kid is different," said Mr. Madsen, noting that they had to "sift their way through" to find sports they could do together. While Mr. Madsen enjoys minor-league baseball, Victor loves to bowl, boasting an all-time high score of 174.

Long list

Other highlights of the past year included fireworks at SPAC, a visit to see a pond stocked with fish, and a trip to the Saratoga County Fair, where they competed on bumper cars.

"We do different things every time," said Victor.

"I'm very attached to Victor; I like him very much," said Mr. Madsen. "Being a mentor is being a buddy, a friend. Being reliable. I'm his friend, and I can help where I can help, and do things that enlarge his interests."

Recently, Victor and Mr. Madsen welcomed a new friend: five-year-old Shawn. Mr. Madsen isn't his mentor, though -- Victor is. It's a new kind of arrangement, and one that benefits both Mr. Madsen and Victor, said Ms. Wolos.

Victor has taken on the responsibility of being mentor and role model for the younger boy with enthusiasm, noted Mr. Madsen. With Shawn in the car, "Victor is the mentor; I'm the driver," commented Mr. Madsen.

Three not a crowd

During their recent visit, Shawn met his pals to show off his new glasses just as Victor finished showing Mr. Madsen how to do an "all-in" on the skateboard.

Ice cream, said Mr. Madsen, is always part of their time together. Victor got chocolate chip cookie dough; Shawn's had rainbow sprinkles. In the parking lot, Victor held his mentee's hand and told him when it's safe to cross while talking about what he just learned about how the ancient Egyptians made mummies.

"Eww, that's gross," Shawn said, wrinkling his nose. He paused, then looked back up at Victor. "What happens next?"

"Victor becoming a mentor is so remarkable," said Mr. Madsen. "The whole idea of him accepting responsibility -- it's given him a lift. It's terrific, just terrific. The idea of kids helping kids: there's a great synergy to that."

Starry-eyed

In the Saratoga Mentoring Program's offices, the boys played a game in a room filled with arts and crafts made by the 44 children in the group program -- most of whom are still waiting for mentors.

Mr. Madsen said there is always more for he and Victor to learn about each other. As Victor arranged magnets on a file cabinet to resemble the constellation Orion, Mr. Madsen saw his mentee point out the mythical hunter's belt and shield to Shawn.

"You watch the stars?" asked Mr. Madsen.

"Yeah," said Victor.

It turns out that Mr. Madsen has a telescope at home. Stargazing, he said, is now on the agenda.

(5/3/07) [[In-content Ad]]