Men weighing call from God

Those are some of the questions on the minds of 11 men who are discerning their possible call to priesthood through monthly meetings with Rev. James Walsh, a member of the diocesan Vocations Team and associate pastor of St. Thomas the Apostle Church in Delmar.

Each meeting consists of a talk by a diocesan priest on such topics as celibacy, loneliness or a 45-year ministry as a priest; a question-and-answer session; and prayer.

Sex and priests

He was questioning everything at that point in his life and met with his parish priest to discuss his desire to become a priest. But he was secretly hoping that he would be talked out of it.

Young Tony Ligato "went out and purchased all the trappings of someone who was active in society" and tried to convince himself that he wasn't meant to pursue a vocation, but to no avail. "The issues kept nagging at me," he said.

Making the leap

Tony, who was 24 when he entered the seminary, wasn't thinking about celibacy during his preparation. He had been celibate in his years leading up to the seminary, so celibacy wasn't as difficult for him to follow as he once envisioned.

"Celibacy is about the appropriate nature by which you share yourself with other people. You do have to be available," he said. "It means daily recommitting yourself to the Lord, daily prayer. You can't do it without the grace of God."

Father Ligato receives a lot of support from family as well as from friends who are priests, and he advised the discernment group members to find a spiritual director or join a support group to help them deal with the issue of celibacy if they pursue their priestly calling.

Delicate issue

In that way, the celibate life of a priest is no different than the monogamous lifestyle of a married man, he added.

"We don't act on every attraction we have. An attraction hopefully goes beyond a physical need for being fulfilled," he said. "Married life calls you to a celibacy with that person. We happen to take that vow with God."

Church laws

Father Walsh pointed out that Roman Catholic priests did marry for the first 1,000 years of the Church, but celibacy became mandatory when Church leaders maintained that if Jesus didn't marry, neither should priests, who take on the person of Christ upon ordination.

Men who are thinking about the priesthood and hoping that celibacy won't be required by the time they're ordained should think again. "You're almost assuring yourself of a miserable existence, and a very sad life and ministry because you're always frustrated. You're always at odds with the Church," Father Ligato said.

Gift of celibacy

Father Walsh noted that it's not enough for a priest to be celibate; he also must be happy. "I'm convinced part of the call from God is to be happy; and if you can't be happy, then I'm not sure it's an authentic call," he said.

Being celibate can be difficult, but Father Walsh has found that working out, staying active and having good friends who are priests (and some who aren't) help him keep his vow.

Homosexuality

"The Church does not use sexuality as a litmus test for ordination. If someone is sexually active, we can't accept you right now," he said. "The Church, diocese and seminary can't help you with self-control."

The difference between celibacy and chastity shouldn't be exploited by homosexuals who think they're following their vow when they aren't, Father Ligato noted. "We're called to not have sexual relationships with anybody," he said.

(05-13-99) [[In-content Ad]]