Marriage Encounter solidifies their union

Don and Mary Massonne thought they had a good marriage. Then the parishioners of Our Lady of Grace Church in Ballston Lake went on a Worldwide Marriage Encounter weekend.

"Marriage Encounter is for anyone who has a good marriage and are content and happy," said Mr. Massonne. "Then you find out what's missing."

What was missing from his marriage of 14 years, he said, were the little things -- loving looks and gestures like hand-holding. "We were preoccupied with homework, school, fixing the dryer," he said. "The things that are important get pushed aside."

Busy lives
The couple, like many married couples, have their hands full. Mrs. Massonne, a critical care nurse at Ellis Hospital in Schenectady, is going to graduate school to become a family nurse practitioner. She is also a catechist. Her husband is an engineer who is taking classes.

They have two daughters. Their older daughter is involved in dance classes and is preparing to receive her First Communion.

"We do a good balancing act," Mrs. Massonne said.

Slowing down
The recent Marriage Encounter weekend the couple participated in helped them slow down and realign their priorities.

"When we walked away from the weekend, we felt ten years younger," Mr. Massonne said.

The weekend is held at a local hotel which is free of the everyday tensions and distractions married couples face. Participants listen to presentations given by three trained couples and a priest. The presentations provide couples with the opportunity to look at themselves as individuals and to examine their relationship with each other, God and others.

After each presentation, couples have private time to share their thoughts using the communication technique they learn on the weekend.

Marriage Encounter operates on the premise that the difference between marriages that are good, average or poor is the level of communication between husband and wife. The Marriage Encounter weekend offers a chance for those with good communication to deepen it, and those whose communication has faded a chance to renew it.

Listening
The Massonne's said their communication has improved as a result of the weekend. "We communicate differently now," Mr. Massonne said. "We take the time to listen."

Mrs. Massonne agreed, saying: "We learned dialoguing. Talking about feelings is critical to a relationship. We've used the dialoguing since. It's a skill you have to practice."

The weekend also helps couples revitalize their marriage by presenting each couple with the opportunity to stop and take a fresh look at each other, their marriage and priorities.

Mrs. Massonne said the weekend helped her recall their early relationship. Because they lived in two different states, they wrote a lot of letters. "I saved the love letters," she said. "The notes we write now are `Can you pick up milk?'"

Feelings
During the weekend, they had the opportunity to put down their feelings into words like they had during their early relationship.

"The sharing and communication between us was the best part [of the weekend]," she said.

The Massonnes encourage other couples to participate in a Marriage Encounter Weekend. "You'll really enjoy yourself," Mrs. Massonne said. "It's food for the marriage. We related it to fertilizing a tree that needs nourishment."

(The next Marriage Encounter Weekend will be held April 24-26. For more information, call 686-3350 or 888-824-6420.)

(04-09-98) [[In-content Ad]]