Man with Asperger's gives his perspective on faith

* "Faith has to be experienced and believed, more than taught."

* "One of the big things is patience."

* "What happens outside of class is most important."

Harold Ryan's blunt thoughts on catechizing children with Asperger's Syndrome come from personal experiences -- some pleasant, some painful.

Having just turned 33, he looks back on being labeled first with childhood autism, then with Asperger's, and finding the elements of a faith to which he's now passionately devoted.

Faith life

Mr. Ryan grew up in Waterford, where he attended St. Mary's parish and school.

Today, he enjoys going to Latin liturgies at St. Peter's parish in Troy -- where, he admits, he doesn't understand the ancient language but believes "I don't have to. It's still the holy sacrifice of the Mass."

Besides, he added practically, the parishioners "are good people, and there's a luncheon afterward. It's a place to eat on Sunday."

Growing up

Having a close-knit group of friends with whom to attend liturgies, birthday picnics and retreats is different from the way Mr. Ryan lived in childhood.

"When I was growing up, Asperger's Syndrome hadn't been heard of yet," he explained. "Being 'different' and socially inept, I was made fun of. Teachers didn't know how to handle me; I didn't take notes or pay attention in class."

Religion "just never interested me," he continued, noting that he felt especially uncomfortable with the Sacrament of Reconciliation -- which could be explained by a further comment: "I'm not as sociable [as people who don't have Asperger's]. I spend a lot of time in my mind. I'm not the best with conversation."

In fact, Mr. Ryan said that, when he reflects on incidents like the 1999 Columbine High School shootings, "it scares me to think of what could have happened." Like the Colorado students who killed their classmates, "I was that loner."

Priest's encouragement

While sitting through religion classes was difficult, Mr. Ryan said it helped him to meet priests and a youth minister who were good examples of living the Catholic faith.

His youth minister encouraged him to take part in parish and outside activities, including World Youth Day in Denver in 1993, where "I got to meet other people who loved Christ and practiced their faith."

In addition, "a priest encouraged me to be there at Mass, to pay attention, and [he] was on fire when he gave homilies."

Both men "treated me as they would want to be treated," said Mr. Ryan. "The deepest aspect that helped me was community: people being a good example to me."

Getting involved

Thus, when practices like saying the Rosary were mentioned, the student became willing to try them. Having heard the adage, "'You only get out of your faith what you put into it,'" he said, "I tried to put more into it."

Outside of classes, he began participating in a prayer group, helping charities and attending more retreats. He liked the retreat atmosphere, where he could listen to other teenagers "singing holy songs [and] sharing. To experience [a retreat] for myself was worth more than any catechetics I could have gotten."

Mr. Ryan pointed out that, despite his disability, "I want to share my thoughts and feelings. [It helped] knowing I wasn't alone in trying to learn my faith, and that there are others who would accept me for who I was."

By the time he made his Confirmation, Mr. Ryan believes he was "one of the few in my class who took it seriously."

Firm believer

Today, he is firm in his beliefs: "I accept that the Pope is the successor to St. Peter. I go to church on Sundays, but I [also] try to live faith at home, in prayer."

He quoted a spiritual director who advised him to "live in the Church and go out into the world," rather than the opposite.

Mr. Ryan is adamantly pro-life, praying in front of Planned Parenthood sites with fellow Catholics and attending gatherings of pro-life Christians. He admires families who model the Catholic faith for their children, whether the children have disabilities or not.

He especially encouraged children with Asperger's Syndrome to keep attending Mass and trying to pray, even if they don't understand why.

"You will experience the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Even though you may not feel it, something is happening," he promised.

Aspects of Asperger's

Mr. Ryan never loses sight of the fact that he is an adult Catholic who also has Asperger's Syndrome.

"Sometimes, I'm not sociable. It's hard to go up to someone and say, 'Hello, it's nice to meet you; I'm a Catholic, too,'" he remarked. "I need to be encouraged. It helps to have people who are more outgoing. Sometimes, I cannot be aware of what I'm doing; I'm in my own little world. But it's not because I'm a stalker or crazy or insane.

"As a Catholic with Asperger's, I try to live my faith as best I can: I pray; I pay attention to the teachings of the Church; I love the Holy Father. I spend time with friends I feel comfortable with. Certainly, I'm open to other things, but I won't be open to things I know are wrong. Right is right, and wrong is wrong; that's how I've always tried to live."

(Mr. Ryan works for his father's wholesale jewelry importing business. In his spare time, he likes to take walks and go to friends' homes, particularly those with children: "I have a natural love for kids." He joked that "though 'Aspies,' as I call us, don't have the best hand-eye coordination, I do like to play video games.")

(6/14/07)