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'I PRAY; I CRY'

"There are some times when I shudder to turn on the news in the morning," said Kim Harris, liturgical consultant for the Office of Black Ministry in the Archdiocese of New York.

Dr. Harris, who holds a PhD in worship and the arts with a focus on liturgy, attends the parish of Our Lady of the Valley in Middleburgh.

As an African-American, Dr. Harris told The Evangelist that simple things like having a taillight out on her car can be a cause for fear.

"It should be a routine annoyance," she said, "as opposed to something that could endanger your life."

Clayton Eichelberger is administrative and legislative counsel for the New York State Catholic Conference. He attends Mass with the Black Catholic Apostolate at St. Joan of Arc parish in Menands.

He noted that "we all know that most police are really hard-working and really faithful servants. The problem is, there is no group, black or other, that is completely monolithic."

Mr. Eichelberger attended Hampton University, a historically black college in Hampton, Va. There, the Albany native and alumnus of Notre Dame-Bishop Gibbons School in Schenectady was able to see how diverse African-American culture and people can be.

He found insight and a new form of community. "Catholics aren't just older white people," he explained, noting that he was the only black man in his high school graduating class.

Amid "these shooting incidents, as troubling and [thought-]harboring as they might be, you know that good people are always out there trying to do prison reform, trying to do things that help your community," he said. "Not everybody is against you."

Dr. Harris and her husband, Reggie, are also well-known musicians. Often, she said, as she travels around the country lecturing and performing African-American spirituals, she is not always treated in the most hospitable way when entering a church.

"When I walk in the door, if there aren't black people in the community, the first thing that happens is they look at me - they look at me like I'm not from there."

People have also tried to help her with her missalette, showing her where to find the readings for Mass. "It won't even occur to people there that I'm Catholic," she said.

For Rev. Simon Udemgba, assisting priest at St. Joseph's parish in Greenfield Center, being a person of color in the clergy is a different experience.

Born and raised in Nigeria, Father Udemgba came to the United States in 1997. Choosing to be in this country feels strange to him lately, he said; he is conscious of being treated differently and does not feel protected.

"I pray all the time for racial harmony, racial understanding," he said.

About the recent shootings of black men and law enforcement officers in several U.S. states, he said, "I believe that this is something that can be solved." He stressed that people shouldn't assume police officers are corrupt.

"For many of us" who are African-American, Dr. Harris noted, "we deal with everything from a small indignity to a large infraction of our rights each and every day. There's not a day that goes by that something doesn't happen."

Dr. Harris travels all around the country with her husband. They constantly wonder if they will be safe.

When tragedies pop up on the news, Mr. Eichelberger takes solace in knowing he has a close group of friends to whom he can confide his concerns.

"We talk about it," he said. "Sometimes [the incidents] are so layered, we talk about them one after another. When we talk about it, it's kind of [with an] exasperated [feeling]."

"I pray; I cry. I will not claim to be healed," Dr. Harris said. "Social media has been helpful. I'm able to find community and black Catholic community through the connections we have."

COPS AND CHAPLAINS

"My heart is just heavy," said Deacon Richard DiCaprio of St. Edward's parish in Clifton Park.

Deacon DiCaprio retired from the Schenectady Police Department in 2001 and was ordained a deacon a dozen years later. Disheartened by the recent shootings of black men by police and the ensuing shootings of police officers in Baton Rouge, Dallas and Minneapolis, he's relying on prayer even more lately.

"We have to make the best out of the worst," the deacon said. "We have to go on. We can't let our grief take over our lives. That's where prayer comes in."

In agreement is Assistant Chief Jack Falvo of the Schenectady Police Department, a Catholic who attends St. Madeline Sophie parish in Schenectady.

"Faith is important," he told The Evangelist. "It helps us do our job and do it to the best of our abilities."

Asst. Chief Falvo has administrative duties at police headquarters, but he also makes sure he checks in with fellow officers who are patrolling the streets during these tense days.

"When I talk to my officers, I encourage them," said the assistant chief, noting that recent events have added an element of fear to being on patrol. "I usually tell them that I appreciate all their hard work. I try to keep it in a positive frame of mind for them. Having a positive attitude is important to safety and survival."

Another one of Asst. Chief Falvo's duties is to help train new recruits at the police academy, something he takes very seriously.

"I don't hesitate to express my personal feelings about family and about faith," he said. "I try to tell them that it's OK -- it's OK to have faith and believe in God and pray and still be a human being."

Asst. Chief Falvo has spoken about the job with Schenectady police chaplain Rev. Robert Hohenstein, pastor emeritus of Our Lady of Mount Carmel parish in Schenectady. Father Hohenstein will retire from his chaplaincy position Aug. 1 after a decade of service, but says he prays for the police every day. He's especially concerned for officers' families.

"I remember them at Mass, with all the tragedies that have happened," Father Hohenstein said.

"Every time I see one of these incidents, I'm devastated. I just can't believe that it's happening."

Asst. Chief Falvo noted that he doesn't always voice all of his concerns about his work to his wife; he says she's already scared enough. But that doesn't stop him from venting to her about some of his fears about the job. "My wife is my rock," he said.

Deacon DiCaprio can relate. He doesn't talk much with his eight grandchildren about his time on the police force -- especially right now, with shootings by and of police officers at the top of every news broadcast.

"They know my history," he said. "They know how I feel. We try not to focus around it too much. They know that I'm hurting."

Rev. James Lefebvre, chaplain for the Albany Police Department for 53 years and pastor emeritus at St. Mary's parish in Albany, believes that the best way to support police officers is simply to be present to them when they need it.

Being a police officer is a vocation, said Father Lefebvre. The chaplain has a deep respect for the men and women who keep the community safe: "It's a tremendous calling."

Officers often call him to vent about the difficulties of the job. "Don't get discouraged by this [current crisis]. Forget what you read or what you hear on television," he tells them. "Just try to do the best job you can for the people.

"When one of them dies," he said, no matter where that officer fell, "they come together."

Bishop Kevin Farrell of the Diocese of Dallas spoke in a recent Catholic News Service story about "the escalating cycle of violence that has now touched us intimately, as it has others throughout our country and the world."

Asst. Chief Falvo related to the bishop's message, noting that "it seems that things are progressively getting worse. You always have that thought in the back of your mind: 'Is today the day?'

"Certainly, as far as I'm concerned, it's in God's hands."[[In-content Ad]]

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