Learning what happened while 3,000 miles away

Unlike most of my friends, I was not at school when the terrorist attacks occurred. I woke up in California at 9:45 a.m. - 6:45 a.m. on the West Coast.

In my nightgown, I walked down the stairs, rubbing my eyes, expecting to see my mom in the kitchen or lying on the couch with my little sister and "Sesame Street" on in the background.

That, unfortunately, was not the case. Rather, my mom was standing directing in front of the television, watching the early morning news. Katie Couric and Matt Lauer were on the screen.

"Strange," I thought, "the To-day Show doesn't start until 7." Then I listened to what they were saying.

I had never heard of the World Trade Center. I had never paid much attention to New York City. I only focused on NYC once a year when I watched Dick Clark count down to New Year's Day.

My mom, however, was more concerned, and that is what made me focus on the events that were unfolding. My uncle, my mother's brother, lived a number of blocks down the street from the towers and could see them from his rooftop.

I remember asking my mom if our family, my dad's entire side of the family, were going to be okay. I knew little about New York - those family members lived in Latham.

I wasn't watching the screen when the first tower went down. A few minutes later, my mom went to the bathroom mirror because of the tears running down her face, and I ran and told her the second tower had fallen.

I didn't know what anything meant. I didn't know of the catastrophic loss, and the effect it would have on my life and on the lives of those around me.

Mom said the word "war." I said, "With who?" She said, "I don't know yet. I hope not."

Over the next couple weeks, I began to grasp the impact these attacks had. Simple, everyday life was changed. I was only 12. The attacks happened on just the fifth day of my seventh-grade year. Our Welcome Back Dance was canceled. That simple fact introduced the devastation of the attacks to me.

Mom did not fly out to New York ten days after the attacks to see where we were moving, as she had planned. The mother who drove my friends and me to school wore black one day. She was on her way to a funeral.

I said, "Mrs. Miller, how did you know someone way out there in those buildings in New York?" She said, "Sweetie, sadly, almost everyone knows someone. There were a lot of people hurt."

Five years later, the terrorist attacks of September 11 still affect me greatly. I try, though I do not always succeed, in saying goodbye to everyone when leaving a group of friends or party.

I remember being so scared when I was 12 that someone I knew would leave and not be able to return. I try to never let a moment I have with someone go wasted.

My faith has been changed. The innocence of my childhood was challenged on September 11. I understood for the first time the true value of the life I have. I realized the impact my actions can have on others.

No longer is prayer out of mere habit, but out of heart. I pray for the child who lost her parent, the husband who lost his wife, and the mother who lost her son. Every gathering at church on Sunday is a chance to see family and friends, and to be part of a community.

Though so many people were harmed on September 11, my faith was ultimately not hurt. It was strengthened. Thousands of people were evacuated before the towers collapsed. Americans joined together in support of those in need. Differences were forgotten and relationships strengthened.

I saw how faith led people through the most difficult time many of us had ever experienced. People had reasons to hope for the future. They had belief their loved ones were in a better place. They have motivation to move on with their own lives as their loved ones would have wanted.

September 11 made me a more open-minded person. I want to know what goes on in the world outside of California and outside of New York. I want to know what people think and how they live in Afghanistan, Israel, North Korea, Cuba and Africa.

I want to make friends in Asia, Europe and Australia. Whether North, South, East, or West, I want to travel and find out what caused people of foreign lands to hurt us so.

I want to be instrumental in the effort to have peace in our world.

I do not want to be a mother who has to explain to her child that 3,000 people died at the wills of other people. I do not want my child to be scared to walk onto an airplane because they fear terrorism.

I'll work hard to prevent those times from happening.

(11/16/06) [[In-content Ad]]