Learning to 'be not afraid'

By STEPHEN YUSKO- | Comments: 0 | Leave a comment

"Be not afraid" is perhaps one of the most well-known quotes from Scripture, yet this command is rarely followed. So, I was nervous and afraid when I arrived at the Paulist Retreat Center in Lake George on a recent Friday evening to begin a retreat for men discerning a vocation to religious life.

I have been discerning my vocation to the priesthood on and off for several years, but had not met with other discerners -- let alone gone to a retreat full of them -- so I was unsure of what to expect.

I experienced similar hearts. Despite our lack of familiarity, we spoke to one another like we had stumbled upon an old friend. We shared our "story," experiences, fears, doubts and concerns. We joked around and spoke about current events, the Church and random hobbies. Quite simply, I found in them hearts similar to mine - hearts that made bonding easy, hearts that yearn to know Jesus Christ and His will.

I experienced holiness atop a mountain. On Saturday, many of us hiked up Buck Mountain, which overlooks Lake George. I love nature and am an avid hiker, but until then, I had not experienced such holy fellowship on a hike or witnessed Mass being offered atop a mountain.

It is truly inspiring and beautiful to behold Christ crucified atop a mountain that overlooks a lake that was previously named after what was before our eyes: the Blessed Sacrament. I now understand why St. Peter wanted to stay on the mountain when he witnessed the transfiguration.

I experienced peace and joy. They were with me throughout the weekend, but it wasn't until later Saturday night that I realized it. We had gathered in the priests' common room to hear about life in the seminary. Before the seminarians began telling us about their experiences, everyone throughout the room was talking.

I realized, as I looked around the room -- seeing the men, some younger and some older, but all sharing similar questions, concerns, hopes and dreams -- that there was no fear in my heart.

Rather, peace and joy resounded therein, and I smiled. To genuinely smile and laugh is a great gift from God that is rarely realized and often taken for granted, but I smiled and I knew, for the first time in a long time, the joy and peace Christ had promised.

Since the retreat, this peace and joy have not left me. I am still discerning, but my discernment has definitely changed. I don't know which of us will become priests, but I know that God has provided His bride, the Church, with great priests, and I am confident that He will continue to do so.

To those who are discerning, speak to a priest or to someone who will foster your vocation. Know that I am praying for you; I hope you pray for me. Finally, "Be not afraid."[[In-content Ad]]