If retirement causes anxiety, here's how you can lessen it

Fear and anxiety are natural outgrowths of living in a world where there is no certainty; and one stage of life that presents uncertainty is retirement.

But Henry M. Hughes believes it is possible to overcome that fear and anxiety, no matter what stage of life one is in.

"Fear and anxiety are different for different people," said Dr. Hughes. "We're anxious about different situations. Everyone has a different issue, but we all can solve them."

Dr. Hughes presented a recent workshop on coping with fears and anxieties at the diocesan Consultation Center in Albany. He is the retired chairman of the guidance department for the Schenectady City School District.

Plans for retirement

The question people must answer as they move toward retirement is: "Who am I -- my employment or my self-worth?" he said. But for many people, self-worth comes from employment. When they stop working, they begin feeling less about themselves.

To make the transition from employment to retirement, people must have a plan as to how they are going to spend their time and to make sure that time is productive. They must also be certain that they have the money to retire.

For Dr. Hughes personally, retirement has been a pleasurable experience. "I love it," he said. "It's Saturdays and Sundays for the rest of your life."

What? Me worry?

To overcome the anxiety that comes with retirement, Dr. Hughes said, "you need to change your perception. Our feelings come from perception. There is a belief in the 'goodness of worry.' If I worry, it will keep me from the abyss. This just causes us to get stuck in worry."

Once stuck in a stage of worrying, the anxiety can compound itself, he explained, adding: "We become anxious about being anxious."

Another typical thought process associated with anxiety is tying self-worth to performance. "People believe that if they don't perform well, they're not worth anything," he said.

Finally, there is also the belief that others are better off, he explained. "We get a sense that there is something wrong with me," he said. "There is a belief that the rest of the world has a magical coping skill. That isn't true."

Overcoming anxiety

To overcome anxiety, he advises people to:

* Step back and look at the situation. "If I didn't worry, what would I do?" he asked. "I'd relax and solve the problem."

* Decide what their self-worth is tied to and what kind of person they are.

* Talk with others to help dispel the myth of the magical coping skill.

Dealing with fears and anxieties is all about perception, Dr. Hughes repeated. "It's how you look at life," he said. "Life presents all kinds of possibilities. We must enjoy life to the fullest, but people believe they can't.

"It's not easy," he warned. "Talk with yourself, and talk with others."

With the proper perception, he believes that "life presents us with the possibility of everything."

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