How one Catholic 'came home'

This time, however, it had caused him to be angry and resentful -- so much so, in fact, that some 30 years would pass before he would receive either that sacrament or the Eucharist again.

"I don't remember exactly what the confession was," he said recently, "but it had to do with a girl I was dating and the priest told me he couldn't give absolution unless I promised never to see the girl again. He pulled out all the stops, saying things like my soul would be damned eternally if I maintained contact with her. I thought: `Well, if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is.' And I left the Church."

Wandering

BY the late '60s, he had a pony tail and was playing in a rock 'n' roll band in Santa Cruz, California. Prior to that, he had lived in New Orleans and San Francisco -- years during which he married and fathered a child.

"My lifestyle was a far cry from what it is today," he reflected. "I didn't go to a church of any kind because, at that point in time, I didn't believe in God -- any God."

Trouble

"I lapsed into a coma for three or four days," Mr. Stellato recalled, "and when I came out of it, I couldn't walk or talk anymore."

He then endured months of therapy and accepted his parents' invitation to return to their home in upstate New York.

Odyssey finishes

In order to get married in the Catholic Church, he agreed to seek an annulment. Meanwhile, she sought ways to lead him back to the Church.

Coming back

He recalls being "scared to death" when he went to a session. What helped to change his mind were the greeters standing outside; seeing their welcoming smiles made him feel comfortable. He went inside where Rev. Frank Gilchrist and Kathy Menard, co-founders of Coming Home, were waiting. Their words and actions made a deep and lasting impression.

"They were open to hearing criticism," he recalled. "The people in that room brought out the very worst criticisms you could ever think of, and it didn't cause them to even blink.

"By the time the Coming Home series was over, I realized how much I wanted to be part of this faith community again. I also realized that I wasn't going to truly be a part of it unless I received the Eucharist with the rest of the community. But in order to do that, I would have to receive a formal reconciliation."

Final steps

Today, people arriving at Coming Home workshops see his smiling face since he volunteers as a team leader. He stresses, however, that doing so "is definitely not sacrificial on my part. I do it for the pure joy of it. I don't think that evangelization was an after-thought for Christ. It is an essential part of His whole message. I no longer know how to be a Catholic or a Christian without evangelizing."

(Editor's note: See advertisement below for information about "Coming Home.")

(04-23-98) [[In-content Ad]]