Holiday grief topic of workshop

The dictionary defines grief as "emotional distress caused by bereavement." Some synonyms for grief include anguish, desolation, disquiet, heartbreak, melancholy, tribulation and worry.

Around the holidays, those feelings can seem overwhelming, according to Eileen Clinton, a grief counselor. As Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around, and as the winter days get shorter, depression settles in with the cold and darkness.

On Nov. 19, Ms. Clinton will speak on "Holiday Grief." She is a faculty member of the Bereavement Studies Certificate Program at Maria College in Albany and a former bereavement coordinator at St. Peter's Hospice of Albany.

Holiday sorrow

"The holidays can be devastating to a person who has recently lost a loved one," Ms. Clinton told The Evangelist. "People can be overwhelmed by something as simple as buying gifts, decorating the house or even sending holiday cards. My presentation gives people options when they think they have none."

She explained that by letting people who are grieving know they have choices to make, they are able to regain control of their lives.

"Once people are empowered to plan ahead or change the way they are doing a certain activity, their anxiety level will go down and they can begin the healing process," she noted. "Shopping, holiday dinners or other rituals do not have to remain on a person's agenda. People can choose to do familiar activities differently or not at all."

She added that many people volunteer to do some type of community service during the holidays in order to refocus their energy, a method she thinks can be very effective in warding off depression.

What it is

Ms. Clinton's favorite definition of grief comes from Therese Rando, a bereavement specialist who refers to grieving as "the process of experiencing psychological, social and physical reaction to one's perception of loss."

"People can experience grief on many levels," said Ms. Clinton. "In anticipation of the holidays, a person can be immobilized by its effects. Once a person knows how to make choices, however, he or she can change the process, and that is where the healing begins."

("Holiday Grief" will be held Nov. 19, 1-3 p.m., at St. Pius X, Loudonville. There is no fee. Call Jeanne at 462-1336.)

(11-16-00)