April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
REFLECTION
Have the talk of a lifetime
This crunchy morsel is even more important to us now that Granny has died. It's as if a piece of this dynamic woman lives on in each stalk of celery served.
Mary Frances Gregula Zipko, my grandmother, was born to impoverished Lithuanian immigrants in the coal-mining region of Western Pennsylvania. She had an eighth-grade education, leaving school after that because she didn't have enough money to purchase the right clothes to wear.
Despite her lack of education, she became a world traveler, a hard worker, a thrifty homemaker, a mother of three, grandmother of nine and great-grandmother to 16.
My grandmother gave up small-town life and headed for New York City, where she worked as a barmaid for a while. Then she headed to Chicago, where she worked in the Wrigley's factory, wrapping chewing gum. There were other odd jobs in factories and department stores in between. Although she was a working woman, she could also make a roast, can tomatoes or make a pie.
My grandmother did a good job taking care of her family. That even included making arrangements for her funeral. While many people believe it is jinxing oneself to pre-plan a funeral, Granny proved them wrong. She made her arrangements seven years before she quietly died in her sleep.
Having had to make arrangements for her own family members at their time of death, Granny didn't want to burden her husband or children, so she took care of planning everything for her own funeral. The only thing we did was choose the readings and hymns.
Remembering Granny is easy. I do it every day. Sometimes, I smell a roast and I'm transported back to her house. Lately, I look in the mirror and I see traces of her reflected back.
In my job as family service manager at Most Holy Redeemer Cemetery in Niskayuna, I get the opportunity to appreciate the final gift my grandmother gave us in pre-planning her funeral. There are a lot of choices to make in purchasing grave space, and they are final. I can't imagine making these decisions while grieving. For example, there are at least 28 different price points in our cemeteries. Digesting all of those options in the midst of grief seems impossible.
An acquaintance's mother recently died. She knew her mother wanted to be cremated, but that's where her knowledge ended. She didn't know that the body can't remain at the morgue indefinitely, that the state requires the death certificate be filed within 72 hours of death; she didn't even know in which parish her mother wanted her funeral Mass to be held. She didn't know she would need to make those decisions quickly, in the midst of her grief.
For this reason and others, the Albany Diocesan Cemeteries are encouraging people to "have the talk of a lifetime." If you visit our website, you can watch a short video and request a free booklet on this. These resources will help you begin the conversation with your family about your final wishes - not only about your funeral, but also about how you want to be remembered.
The conversation need not be one-sided or morbid. A candid and heartfelt discussion can help ensure your loved one's wishes are met.
(For information, go to www.capitaldistrictcemeteries.org or call 463-0134.)[[In-content Ad]]
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