April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
REFLECTION
Habits of lasting, loving marriages
We've discovered that there are some daily habits intrinsic to long-lasting, loving marriages. Mike and I attempt to develop them in our marriage and enjoy sharing them with our couples.
Spouses in long-lasting, loving marriages:
• practice self-care (if they didn't, they wouldn't have anything to bring to the marriage);
• make sure their expectations match reality and don't compare their spouse to others;
• anticipate that there will be difficult seasons in their lifelong marriage and are not blindsided when they occur;
• don't ever consider or use the word divorce - it is simply not an option;
• are intentional in their relationship with their spouse about what they say and do, because this relationship is the most important relationship in their lives;
• take responsibility for their own happiness;
• don't wait for their spouse to change, but take action by asking, "What can I do to make things better;"
• are not led around by the world's view of marriage and are careful who they hang around with, where they hang around and what they do;
• enjoy things together, but give each other space;
• don't belittle or shame each other;
• practice their faith and know this is the best defense against isolation;
• don't think the grass will be greener on the other side;
• set up boundaries (financial, social, situational and seasonal);
• avoid situations that might jeopardize their marriage;
• get counseling or help when they need it; and
• greet each other with a kiss.
(Mrs. Bonanno lives in Colonie and attends St. Mary's parish in Albany.)[[In-content Ad]]
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