Guardianship gave Tony a family

Tony Mercedes didn't have a "dad" until he was 18.

The 23-year-old resident of St. Margaret's Center in Albany has multiple physical and cognitive disabilities and was surrendered by his birth parents to the Manhattan department of social services during his infancy. 

He came to St. Margaret's, a comprehensive residential facility for children and adults, when he was six. When he turned 18, the Department of Social Ser-vices was no longer able by law to make decisions regarding his care and he was in need of a guardian. 
David Amico, director of the Office of Ministry Formation for the Albany Diocese, agreed to be Mr. Mercedes' guardian.

"Tony and I are close," Mr. Amico explained. "We have a father-son relationship and my parents have become his grandparents."

Mr. Amico had become familiar with St. Margaret's Center through his previous position as director of catechesis to persons with disabilities for the Albany diocesan Office of Evangelization and Catechesis. 

While serving in that position, he received a call from a parent of a child living at St. Margaret's who wanted the child to receive the sacraments. 

At the time, 32 of the 58 children living at St. Margaret's were Catholic. Mr. Amico developed an ongoing relationship between St. Margaret's Center and St. James Church in Albany. In addition to providing faith formation, parishioners also volunteered at the center.

But, for Mr. Amico, becoming Mr. Mercedes' guardian involved more than just volunteering or making a decision. Marygrace Pietrocola, director of social services at St. Margaret's Center, explained that even biological parents of disabled adults must petition the court for guardianship. 

"At 18, the legal system sees you as an adult," she said. "Due to their disabilities and medical conditions, our residents lack the ability to make these kinds of decisions on their own."

Typically, a parent will petition the court for guardianship, which allows them to continue making decisions on the person's behalf. Mr. Amico also had to petition the court and complete all of the necessary paperwork. 

Mr. Mercedes' guardianship petition was the first of its kind in Albany County Surrogate Court, Ms. Pietrocola said. 

Today, the relationship between Mr. Amico and Mr. Mercedes has exceeded the expectations of St. Margaret Center's staff. 

"I knew that David would be involved, but this is more than I anticipated," said Ms. Pietrocola. "This has surpassed everything I had hoped for."

As a guardian, Mr. Amico makes medical and educational decisions for Mr. Mercedes and advocates for his care. He attends quarterly review meetings and family events offered at St. Margaret's Center.

Last year, Mr. Mercedes was hospitalized with pneumonia and Mr. Amico served as his voice. 

"I did what any parent would do for their child," Mr. Amico said.

Mr. Amico and his parents visit Mr. Mercedes each weekend. Mr. Amico's mother sends a weekly letter about their visit which the staff at St. Margaret's reads to Mr. Mercedes. 
Mr. Amico and his parents also decorate Mr. Mercedes' bedroom for each season and holiday.

When the elder Amicos celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in June, they had a party at St. Margaret's so that Mr. Mercedes could be a part of the celebration.

Becoming a part of Mr. Mercedes life has been enriching for Mr. Amico. "This has been a very spiritual experience for me," he said. "On a deeply personal level, it's brought me to a better understanding of what we believe when we talk about respecting life. It's made the teaching real for me.

"Tony is truly disabled. He has Down syndrome, cerebral palsy and sensory and physical disabilities. Tony's developmental age is maybe 18 months. He is tube fed. Relating with him is different than with someone who is verbal."

Mr. Amico said that Mr. Mercedes is a sign of God's presence. 

"Tony has a great laugh and responds to music and affection," Mr. Amico said. "Tony gives me more than I give him."

(St. Margaret's Center was founded in 1883 by the Episcopal Diocese as a house and hospital for abandoned babies. In 1999, it became a part of the Center for Disabilities Services. For additional information on St. Margaret's Center, go to www.cfdsny.org or call 944-2120.)


(12/11/08)