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Reports from the ongoing Extraordinary Synod of Bishops on the Family at the Vatican are generating serious concerns, vigorous discussion and even surprise that may be - at least for the moment - encouraging to some, while disillusioning to others.

Addressing the meaning and integrity of marriage, after all, profoundly affects both the order of society and our most intimate relationships. Every word and phrase, it seems, is being scrutinized for some new meaning, a dramatic change in policy or a nuance in doctrine.

Is this a "Vatican II moment," as some have proposed - where a fundamental shift occurred in ecumenical relations, for example - or even a time for doctrinal development, as in the Declaration on Religious Freedom ("Dignitatis Humanae")? In a clear effort to engage the disaffected both within and outside the fold, will the synod fathers find a language to speak the truth with mercy to those seeking comfort without also confusing comfort with true salvation?

A recent update on the progress of the conversations - it must be emphasized that the synod is still in process and in its discussion stage - produced a flurry of commentary on a marked change of tone in how to speak of and to persons in morally irregular relationships. Archbishop Bruno Forte, the synod's special secretary, commented during a news conference that, while the Church does not condone such unions, it must "respect the dignity of every person." Referring specifically to same-sex unions, he said that "the fundamental idea is the centrality of the person independently of sexual orientation." This explanation may not be inconsistent with the respect to be accorded every human person regardless of status, certainly on a pastoral level. Sound pastoral practice encourages compassion for the sinner, even as the sin is to be noted and confessed. No moral distinction is made on God's generous mercy toward all, with regard to a person's age, ethnicity, religion, nationality, sexuality or any other descriptive characteristic, be it genetic, developmental, biological or relational.

At the same time, mercy is both a generous gift and a call to conversion. This seems consistent with the tone of a Gospel passage we heard on a recent Sunday (Mt 22:1-14), an account of the banquet the king throws for his son.

He encounters resistance among the invited guests and then throws open the door to a wider circle, the "good and the bad." The generosity of the welcome in the parable, however, takes a different turn when one guest refuses to appear in a wedding garment.

We can assume that suitable garments were made available at the door for the newly-invited travelers whom the king had sent his servants to fetch from gathering points outside the city. Logically, the king could not have expected them to go back home and get a wedding garment after a long journey - if they even had the resources to obtain one. No, this generous king was going out of his way to make sure everyone could have a seat at his son's feast. That is the way with God's mercy.

Then a wrinkle appears in the story: One objects to putting on a garment. Effectively, he is saying that he is not going to make any adaptation to his life or behavior just to suit the king. No one is going to tell him how to live his life.

The king, on the other hand, insists that though many are called, he expected some decorum - an attitudinal and behavioral change - symbolized by the wedding garment.

Thus, a generous and inviting embrace toward all those who want to enter into the joy of the king's feast is not inconsistent with the expectation that the invited will respect the king's dignity. I think it is pretty clear that the king in the parable is a metaphor for our heavenly Father, the son is Jesus Himself and the banquet is the kingdom of God.

The good news for everyone in this account is that God wants all to be at the feast of His Son: the heavenly banquet table. This includes those who struggle with all sorts of personal, moral or "life-style" issues. They are called, too.

Even to be aware of our sins and shortcomings is evidence that a merciful God is calling us to salvation. But to be saved, it is not enough just to hear of God's mercy. Something has to change - and for starters, there must be a willingness to accept being "clothed" in a manner that the king deems suitable.

St. Paul often speaks of "putting on Christ," a metaphor for the willingness of a Christian to become Christ-formed. This is more than a superficially external adherence to ritual or manners. It involves a deep inner transformation, a willingness to draw closer to God and His holiness.

When Pope Francis made his much-quoted "who am I do judge" comment, he was referring to a priest who had been involved in some kind of same-sex relationship which the priest subsequently renounced, manifesting a desire to grow in following the Lord more closely and to remain faithful to his promise to live chastely. His appointment to a position of some prominence at the Vatican raised the hackles of those deeming his occupation of such a post unseemly.

No doubt the priest could be counted among that second group whom the king welcomed into the banquet - so long as they arrived with an attitude of openness to be made over in a way befitting of God's kingdom.

Conversion of attitude, mind and heart may not happen overnight. Those attending the feast after being invited in from the highways and byways may have had much to reorder in their lives - but they were willing to move forward.

No one but God can know what is in a human heart, but in examining our own worthiness to approach the Lord's table, which heralds the kingdom, is it not reasonable for the King to ask: "How much are you willing to be changed in order to dwell in the presence of my holiness?"

God indeed comes to us all. How ready and willing are we to come to God?[[In-content Ad]]

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