---

PERSPECTIVE

Golf bearable for laughs and a cause



Playing golf for the first time, at a fundraiser for St. Brigid's Regional Catholic School in Watervliet, presented me with several unexpected lessons. For instance, you would think that if you were going to talk to that little white ball you would do so when it's nearby. After all, I prefer to converse with people who are close enough for me to see their faces. 

Not so in golf. One swings in silent concentration, then waits until the ball lands 60 yards down the fairway. And then, dear beginner, you must start telling it where to go. "Come on, roll left, keep going, get up there, stop-stop-stop." 

Why not tell the ball these things ahead of time, when it could hear and heed? No one knows. 

Similarly, one learns and rehearses the endless aspects of a good swing. I did so courtesy of Ralph Provenza, principal of St. Brigid's, on the driving range at Latham Family Fun Center. I guess Ralph mentioned 10 things, maybe 20: Pivot on your spine, swing with your shoulders, don't lift your head, follow through, and so on. 

So you memorize all the mechanics. But when you actually swing you should put it all out of your head. Good luck. 

A third unexpected rule: Though you should not talk while one of your party is about to tee off, you can whisper really loudly. Not sure I understand that one but, hey, I did hear you Ralph and Bob.

Each spring, duffers have their choice of scores of golf fundraisers for various Catholic schools and causes. 

The St. Brigid's tournament was held in honor of Patricia Crinigan, who taught at the school for 48 years. "Monsignor asked me to [teach] for a month until he got a nun," she said. "He never got the nun." 

A former student and retired police officer, Bob Passano, was in my foursome, and regaled us with stories of Mrs. Crinigan's reprimands. Most, apparently, began with, "Mr. Passano, what do you think you're...."

St. Brigid's has a long history of golf. Bob told me while we were looking for my ball in the woods - a common exercise that day - that of his eighth-grade class of 65, at least 10 received clubs as a graduation present. "We would take two buses over to Frear Park in Troy to play," he recalled.

So there's one secret to golf: Start really young. Today, the principal runs a golf club for students in the upper grades. 

"They're natural swingers," says Ralph Provenza. "They don't think a lot." He paused, alert to his image as a school principal, and laughed. "Wait, that doesn't sound right about our students." 

The tournament field of about 45 golfers included a few priests and deacons, many supporters and some serious golfers. Most were united in the easy camaraderie of people with a common enemy: the course and our own limitations. 

I didn't have many limitations since I had few abilities. But I tried, at the least, to remember that common sense does not reign in golf. 

Final lessons from Ralph: If you want the ball to go left, aim right. If you want the ball to go up, swing down. Addressing the ball does not mean saying hello to it. 

And, worst of all, if it feels right, it's probably wrong.

(05/28/09) [[In-content Ad]]

---