Foster mother learns while teaching children

Life for a foster parent can include tears, night terrors and stories of abuse. Despite that, Sandy Yerry has kept at it through 20 years and 25 children, three of whom she adopted.

A foster parent at St. Catherine's Center in Albany, Mrs. Yerry has even encouraged other family members to give it a try. "My sister has been a foster parent for 18 years," she said. "My niece is also one. I talked my family into it."

The children served by St. Catherine's have been separated from their families to be kept safe or in order to receive treatment for emotional or behavioral problems. While in care, they and their families receive a range of services designed to achieve a permanent home for each child.

Night terrors

Children coming into the foster care program have experienced many separations and traumas; have behavioral, emotional and/or developmental problems; and need a consistent and predictable home environment to help them grow.

According to Pat Engstrom, director of community relations for the agency, the job of a foster parent is intense. "They deal with night terrors every night," she said. "It's a 24-hour job without a doubt."

"Most of our children have been sexually or physically abused," added Mrs. Yerry. "It can take years to get over the traumas. They're still afraid the person [who abused them] is going to come. It's hard to watch. With my first one, I cried for an hour after she went back to sleep" after her night terrors.

Small steps

When asked what keeps her going as a foster parent, Mrs. Yerry answered: "Very simple things, like making the kids feel safe, taking the guilt off of them, letting them know it's okay to go to someone, and letting them know it's not their fault that this happened."

Besides providing this emotional support, the job of a foster parent includes teaching children such basic skills as hygiene, table manners and how to have a conversation about their day, Mrs. Yerry said.

Learning

She has also learned a lot about the children. "It's amazing what these children can survive," she said. "The turmoil they've been through -- and then to see them smile. How can they trust someone after all they've been through?"

Besides liking children, Mrs. Yerry said an important quality for a foster parent to possess is a sense of humor. "We have our days," she said. "It's a good thing to have a sense of humor to bring yourself back."

The average stay for a child in foster care is two years. "I still cry" when foster children return home, Mrs. Yerry said. "But because we have communication with the parents, it makes it easier. You're on a regular talking basis [with the parents]. It makes it better for you. You can see the changes mom and dad made."

(For more information about St. Catherine's Center foster care program, call 435-9029.)