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Valentine's Day in our house doesn't possess the ambiance we see on TV commercials. I won't be dripping in diamonds or surrounded by roses. My husband and I usually go out for breakfast and talk about the kids.

My husband hardly ever notices when I look good. Sometimes, I actually say, "Mike, don't I look pretty?" Wide-eyed, he quickly responds, "Oh yeah! You look great, really great!"

After 30 years of marriage and the ups and down of life, I deeply love and appreciate my husband. He takes care of the lawn and does yucky jobs like cleaning gutters, fixing broken toilets and checking the mousetraps under the sink.

He gets up early and makes the coffee.

He doesn't seem to notice my ever-increasing wrinkles.

He doesn't put me between a rock and a hard place by criticizing my parents or siblings.

He frequently goes for walks with me.

He makes me laugh and teases me mercilessly (though never about stuff that matters) about how I get lost going around the block or how I need to cry sometimes.

As soon as the kids were born, he fell in love with each of them as much as I did. To this day, he quietly dotes over them and cuts them a break at every turn.

He uses the words "we" and "our" instead of "I" and "my." Even when I was home full-time, he never referred to our mortgage or money as his.

He invites me into his thoughts and spiritual beliefs. At these times, I press my lips together to remind myself to just listen.

He kisses me hello and goodbye, no matter where we are.

He doesn't bring up old dirt or belittle me in front of family and friends. If he's angry with me, he waits until we're alone to discuss it.

He doesn't care what people think of him - and I admire that, because I do and it trips me up.

He does what he says he will do, so I don't have to wonder or nag.

He loves his mom dearly, but never invites her into our marriage.

He warms up the car for me.

He listens to me ramble about the thoughts ricocheting off the walls of my mind and, often, he actually seems interested.

He makes delicious homemade wine. Each night, when we come home from work, he asks, "How about a nice glass of wine?" I pause as I hang up my coat and reply, "OK, if you insist."

Here's a shout-out to all of the unsung valentines whose precious gifts often go unnoticed.

(Mrs. Bonanno is a parishioner of St. Mary's Church in Albany.)[[In-content Ad]]

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