---

The impact of abortion is most often measured by numbers of unborn children lost. But the trauma suffered by women who have abortions can include guilt, depression, addictions, broken relationships and repeat crisis pregnancies.

For the first time in the Albany Diocese, a "Rachel's Vineyard" retreat on May 14-16 will offer hope and healing to women who have had an abortion, and for the men, grandparents and friends impacted along with them.

"Sadness and grief surround abortion," said Pat Mousaw of Our Lady of the Annunciation parish in Queensbury, who will facilitate the retreat. She is a spiritual director at the Consultation Center in Albany, which offers counseling and mental health services.

After an abortion, Mrs. Mousaw said, "society tells [women] it's not a big deal. Even in counseling, they are not permitted to express grief. [They are told] their problems must be related to something else, but not to abortion."

Rachel's Vineyard retreats focus on healing and reconciliation for those whose lives have been touched by abortion. Hundreds of the retreats are offered in the U.S. and internationally; the name refers to Jeremiah 31:15, in which "Rachel mourns her children, she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more."

The Albany Diocese's retreat is co-sponsored by Rachel's Vineyard of Albany and the dio-cesan Office of Evangelization, Catechesis and Family Life.

Mrs. Mousaw said the retreat is highly confidential and offers a welcoming, non-judgmental attitude. The movement's founder, Dr. Theresa Burke, describes the retreats as a means to "safely empty the grief and make room for grace."

Two professional counselors and several laypeople will assist; Rev. Richard Carlino, pastor of St. Anthony's and St. John the Evangelist parishes in Schenec-tady, will serve as chaplain.

Mrs. Mousaw told The Evangelist that the retreat's "first focus is on grief and sadness then forgiveness and reconciliation. People are encouraged to turn to Jesus."

She noted that God is not punishing: "It's the Jesus who forgives the woman at the well, healing the woman who touches his cloak. It's the Father who welcomes back the prodigal son."

Father Carlino noted that Pope John Paul II stressed in his 1995 encyclical, "Evangelium Vitae" ("The Gospel of Life"), the need for forgiveness and compassion for women who have chosen abortion.

"We must be agents of the compassion of Christ and reach out to them," Father Carlino stated.

Non-Christians on Rachel's Vineyard retreats are encouraged to "picture Jesus as a friend," said Mrs. Mousaw. "But for Christians, the focus is on Jesus as savior and redeemer - the loving, forgiving, reconciling Jesus."

Catholic retreatants receive the sacraments of reconciliation and Eucharist, and all participants take part in non-sacramental rituals such as guided meditation. Mrs. Mousaw called these "sensory-based rituals."

"We use water, candles, drinking a cup of bitterness and blessings," she explained. "These are concrete things to help [understand] what it is they are dealing with and processing."

Mrs. Mousaw emphasized that fathers and other family members of the aborted child and/or the mother can learn from the retreat, as can those who participated in procuring an abortion for someone else.

Kathy, a Catholic woman who asked her last name not be used, believed her abortion would "eliminate the problem. Instead, it created a whole new problem: dealing with the abortion."

Unable to forgive herself, she said that psychological counseling and even the sacrament of Reconciliation did not lift the burden.

"Mentally, I knew I was absolved," she said. "but emotionally it was harder. I kept going back [to confession]."

Finally, she was referred by a priest to Rachel's Vineyard. "The priest at the retreat saying, 'You are forgiven,' was shocking. The first door that opened to forgiveness and compassion for me was Rachel's Vineyard."

Women at the retreat who had also had abortions were a particular inspiration to her: "They had been through the same path and they were living happy, healthy lives. I thought, 'I can get beyond this.' Now I can provide that to someone else."

Kathy will assist at the Latham retreat. "I'm so excited to help someone else go through the process - to reconcile with self, with God, reconcile with the Church," she said.

"There is so much pain," she added. "It took a long time to forgive myself. It's a long process. But there is hope and healing. You are not alone."

(03/11/10) [[In-content Ad]]

---