Finding God amid sorrow

On April 30, 2004, my mother's mom - Nana as we all called her - passed away. Everything stopped; I cried. I wondered how mom was holding up after being there with her at the hospital in New Jersey. It was my time and my family's time for mourning. In about four hours was the BOCES prom.

The BOCES prom is a yearly service done by our school's juniors for those in special ed-ucation programs at BOCES. Dur-ing that day, we set up our cafeteria to look really fancy with flowers, tablecloths and a fountain. The students are invited to come to our school for a prom they would otherwise not have. We escort, serve and dance with the students.

Quite honestly, when I found out about Nana, the prom was far from my mind. But my time of mourning would just have to wait, for it was my time to dance. Instead of being what someone might expect of a grieving person, I was energetic, positive and truly having fun. I was able to "get-out-of-myself" despite the fact the SATs were the next morning, and the wake and funeral would take place the days following.

For that night, I was thinking about the BOCES students and making their night special. Nana would have wanted it that way.

Nana and I had many good times together, and I have nothing I need to regret. Nana's passing away that day gave me new life, as I kept saying to myself, "This is for you, Nana."

Our faith tells us you must serve while you are able to serve. You don't know how long you will be given to serve. Nana had 85 years. She was a volunteer librarian at her local Catholic grammar school for 40 years. In her old age, she was giving rides to her close friends who couldn't drive to church, get to doctor appointments or go to the grocery store.

It wasn't had to see God present in the students' smiles. Seeing God present helped while I was mourning deep inside. My faith allowed me to carry on - not forget, but carry on. I will never forget Nana since she is a part of who I am every day.

(11/11/04)