Family sacrifices create an old-fashioned home

"A hug!" Adam replied, stopping his run through the sprinkler in the backyard to throw his arms around his father.

That kind of "dad time" is important to the Marcils -- Joe, his wife Staci and their children: Adam and 17-month-old Joshua. As the sole breadwinner in the family, Mr. Marcil works long hours so that his wife can stay home with the boys.

Old-style family

A former state worker, Mr. Marcil said that his salary there wouldn't have covered expenses if his wife hadn't babysat children in their home. But when he was offered a sales position with Keeler Volvo in Colonie, Mrs. Marcil was able to devote all of her time to raising the children.

"It was what we thought would be the best thing to do," Mr. Marcil explained. "As long as I've known her, this is what Staci wanted to do -- be a mom. Staci works harder than I do! There aren't too many jobs I can think of that are harder than chasing two kids around."

Cutting back

"We know we have to live on less," Mrs. Marcil said. "The boys wear hand-me-downs; people who have two incomes, their kids wear designer clothes. We may have spaghetti more nights than other people. One thing we don't sacrifice is vacation -- we do that every year."

As a father, Mr. Marcil misses some time with his children to work five to seven more hours per week than he did at his former job, staying late at work when a customer needs to meet with him.

"It's not easy," he told The Evangelist. "With the State, it was like, `Leave whenever you want; take as much time off as you want.'"

To make up for the loss, the couple plans special time when "dad and the boys" go to the movies or an Albany Firebirds football game on their own.

"Adam, are we going to `Tarzan' together?" Mr. Marcil said by way of example. "Yes!" Adam said exultantly, already excited about the upcoming Disney movie.

Image of family

The reactions are "very mixed," said Mr. Marcil. "I don't think it's necessarily what people say; it's what they imply."

"Like, `you must make a lot of money so I can stay at home,'" Mrs. Marcil remarked.

"We don't make much money!" her husband continued. "It's a pretty even split [between those who applaud and criticize their choice]; I don't think anybody's against it."

Pluses

"There are a million benefits," Mrs. Marcil agreed. "That I'm the major influence in their lives, not someone else. That the children have their own schedule; they can get up when they want to. I feel like I'm more involved in Adam's educational process -- I get to talk with his [preschool] teachers. Also, the kids are not being exposed to as much illness at early ages in a daycare setting. And a big thing for me is being home with the kids when they're sick."

Mr. Marcil remarked that he sometimes feels jealous "in a good way" of his wife for the amount of time she gets to spend with their sons. "But then I see what she goes through, and sometimes I don't think I would like to stay home!" he joked.

When both children are in school, Mrs. Marcil hopes to get her master's degree and work as a school counselor. But in the meantime, Mr. Marcil said he doesn't mind being the family's sole breadwinner.

"It's definitely worth it, if it's what works for you," he said.

(06-17-99) [[In-content Ad]]