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I'll never forget the relief on my husband's face when I suggested we stop buying each other Valentine's Day gifts. My alternative -- "Let's go out to breakfast" -- was met with uncanny enthusiasm.

I'd figured out that, every time I choose what's good for "us," our bond grows stronger. Although appearing passive, it's a powerful connection, because love is not an "I" thing. It's a "we" thing.

I've also learned that love doesn't bring up old dirt. I deeply admire the ability to forgive. Jesus didn't focus on old dirt and wag His finger. What annoyed Him more than anything were folks who thought they were better than others.Evidently, Christ didn't "finger-wag" at anyone except the finger-waggers.

Last week, our son Sean found three abandoned animals: an old dog and two kittens. The shelters in his area are overwhelmed, so the dog would probably be euthanized if Sean were to drop him off. After loading the trio into his car and driving home to his apartment, he called his dad and me and said, "What else could I do?"

It will take time and money to care for the dog and find homes for the kittens, but I am happy for Sean. All his life, he has been loved. Now, he chooses to love, because love begets love.

Last Christmas, my daughter in law, Anastasia, gave me the historical novel "Quo Vadis" by Henryk Sienkiewicz. It took me six long months to read; the author describes every imaginable detail of life in first-century Rome, and I am not big on detail.

Early Christians kept their belief in Christ hidden for fear of persecution and death. Their secret symbol, one we often see on cars and jewelry, was the outline of a fish. They used this fish image to communicate their faith and to mark meeting places for gatherings. The hopeful, loving nature of early Christ-followers was peculiar to neighbors living in the cutthroat, corrupt Roman society.

Despite Rome's violent attempts to eradicate it, Christianity spread. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised: Love connects us. It is eternal. Nothing can stop it -- not even the mighty Roman Empire.

I'm enjoying the audiobook of "Angela's Ashes," read by the author, Frank McCourt. He infuses humor into memories of a difficult childhood in Ireland. Whenever I delve into Irish history or culture, I feel connected and better understand myself and family of origin. Although our past does not define us, it shapes us.

Recently, at a pub in Lake Placid, I met a man from Ireland. He was with his wife, celebrating their first wedding anniversary. One of my favorite things to do is to sit at a bar with my husband and chat with strangers. A friend, a pint and a bit of laughter is good for the heart.

The young man asked how long we had been married. We told him this June will be our 35th anniversary. With a heavy brogue and an Irish twinkle, he answered, "Well, then, you're just gettin' started."

Love is revealed to us in family, pets, books, strangers -- just about everywhere -- so, happy Valentine's Day, everybody.

One more thing: It doesn't bother me that I won't be dripping in diamonds this Valentine's Day. My birthday is right around the corner!

(Mrs. Bonanno attends St. Mary's Church in Albany. She can be reached at [email protected].)[[In-content Ad]]

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