Families, Church link to serve children

Michael is multiply handicapped, and Mrs. Miller didn't think he would be able to participate in the parish religious education program.

But Joanne Valente, Sacred Heart's pastoral associate for faith formation, disagreed and made it possible for Michael to become a part of the program.

Different route

Mrs. Valente gave the Millers an audiotape that contained religious songs for Michael to listen to. Then he began coming to Sunday Mass and later attended religious education classes.

"He enjoyed [the classes]," his mother said. "He liked the teachers and the idea that he was a part of it. He received Reconciliation and the Eucharist with his sister Cassandra's class."

Cassandra is two years younger than Michael, and the family thought he would be more comfortable being with her, Mrs. Miller said.

Now 18, Michael regularly attends Mass at Sacred Heart. He remembers the catechists he had years ago, greeting them and Mrs. Valente when he sees them.

Open to all

"The children are mainstreamed in school, so we mainstreamed here," she said. "It's been a very enlightening experience. We've had 100 percent cooperation from our pastor and associate pastor."

The sense of welcome that the Miller family experienced at Sacred Heart plays an important role in reaching out to families where a child has a special need, according to David Amico, associate director for persons with developmental disabilities for the diocesan Office of Evangelization and Catechesis.

"The parish has to have a sense of openness and welcome," he said. "That will go a long way. If the parish does this, parents will feel more comfortable."

Past failures

"The Church should be a family where we can share our joys, struggles and sorrows," he said. "Like any family, we sometimes let each other down. If people haven't experienced welcome, they shouldn't let that keep them from the family. We can always begin again."

In the past, some people viewed children with disabilities as being closer to God and not in need of catechesis, Mr. Amico said. "That was not meant to be patronizing," he said. "In its day, it was meant to be helpful. What we've learned is that they can learn and grow in relationships. They can grow in holiness. They can learn about faith and grow in relationship with God. They have a right to that."

Parents and parish

"It's a partnership with the families," she explained. Parents need to provide information on the child so that the parish can provide appropriate materials and a setting that will allow the child to learn.

"The hardest part is when families choose not to tell," Mrs. Sweeney said. "It's a disservice to the child."

That happens most often with children who have a learning disability. Mrs. Sweeney said families withhold information because they don't want their child labeled. However, without the information, the parish isn't able to create the best learning environment for the child.

Tailored to child

Mr. Amico can provide parishes with forms to help them gather the appropriate information. He can also help the parish develop the most appropriate catechetical setting, and provide resources and curriculum adaptations.

Like public schools, where inclusion of children with disabilities is important, parishes strive for inclusion as well. However, according to Mr. Amico, inclusion applies to the whole parish community and not just the formal time spent in a religious education program.

"We often think of inclusion in terms of the actual learning time," he said. "Inclusion includes liturgies, prayer services, service projects and social events. We shouldn't limit inclusion to formal catechesis. For example, if there is a child with Down syndrome in the parish, is that child invited to be an altar server? It's not just a question of 'are they prepared for Eucharist?'"

Children of faith

"It's been really great," he said. "Father [Thomas] Powers [the pastor] has been excellent. It's been a very open and comfortable experience for us."

Mr. Cunningham and his wife Maureen wanted their twins, Grace and Celia, to receive Reconciliation and Communion with their younger brother Shamus, a second grader at St. Teresa's School. (They also have a younger daughter, Mary, who is a first grader at St. Teresa's.)

"Shamus is so excited his sisters are going to make their First Communion with him," Mr. Cunningham said. "He's tickled pink."

Cooperative arrangement

"Each evening, I read a section to the girls," he said. "Shamus is getting into it, too -- and so is Mary. It's been a wonderful experience. There's nothing we can't do with the girls."

When Grace and Celia make their Reconciliation and Communion, it will be the first time they receive a sacrament in a parish. They were baptized in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Albany Medical Center shortly after birth.

"They weren't expected to live 72 hours," Mr. Cunningham said. "We prayed that if it was God's will that they live, we'd give them all of the advantages. We want them to have a full, well rounded life."

Mrs. Sweeney said that working with the Cunninghams and other young people with special needs has been an enjoyable part of her ministry.

"It's really a pleasure," she said. "There is a great reward when you see the joy on the faces of the young people and their families."

(To learn more about catechesis for people with special needs, contact David Amico at 453-6630. To read the U.S. bishops' statement on inclusion view www.nccbuscc.org.)

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