Experts correct common myths about Decrees of Nullity

There are many reasons divorced Catholics divorce themselves from the annulment process.

Some fear it will reopen old wounds. Others cringe at what they assume are the high costs involved. Others feel their former marriage is none of the Church's business.

Those, however, are not the top causes of annulment avoidance, according to Sister Kay Ryan, CSJ, of the diocesan Family Life Office. Far more prevalent, she says, are the fears of being ex-communicated and of having illegitimate children. Both are myths.

Misunderstandings

"People sometimes say, `Why are you going back to such and such a place [with a forum]? You were just there three years ago!'" Sister Kay said. "We go back to meet the changing needs of parishioners in those areas. Someone whose marriage was intact three years ago would not likely have attended an annulment forum. If that person's marriage has since ended, he or she may be very interested in hearing what we have to say."

Marriage 101

Each forum begins with a brief history of marriage in America, presented by Sister Kay. "I call it Marriage 101," she said. "It only takes about 15 minutes, but it helps put things into perspective."

A key point she makes concerns how society's view of marriage and divorce has changed dramatically in the past century, compared with the consistent way in which the Church has regarded them throughout its 2,000-year history.

At the forums, Father Sullivan talks about how the Church can grant annulments and the conditions that are necessary for the Sacrament of Marriage to take place. Also addressed by Father Sullivan are the numerous conditions that might render a marriage invalid, such as force or fear. Examples might include a woman who was from an abusive home and married in an attempt to escape the abuse or a man felt pressured into marrying a woman because she was pregnant.

Low cost

Sister Mary Ann zeroes in on annulment costs and how the process works in the Albany Diocese. Petitioning for an annulment through the Albany Diocese costs $325. (In cases of need, adjustments in that amount can be negotiated.)

"A big misconception people have is that you are buying an annulment," says Sister Mary Ann. "You are not buying an annulment; you are paying for the cost of processing the annulment petition."

The annulment process itself takes about a year, but the exact length of time varies from case to case. The Tribunal urges people not to set any remarriage plans until they have the Declaration of Nullity in their hands.

Healing process

While some people view annulments strictly as "a formality," Sister Mary Ann said others report doing so was "a cleansing experience" and an important part of the healing process.

"So often, divorce is a painful, finger-pointing process," she noted. "The more flaws you can find with the person you are divorcing, the better. Annulments are not fault-finding missions. They are not about blaming the other person. They are about objectivity, about healing and about acceptance."

(For more information about annulments, contact your parish priest or call 453-6677 or 453-6620. The next two annulment forums will be held at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Albany on March 4, and at St. Catherine's in Middleburgh on April 8. Both programs run from 7-9 p.m.)

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