Duanesburg author digs up faith roots of his family tree

For Stephen Dubner, the challenge of Jewish-Catholic dialogue can involve something as simple as a call to his mother.

His mother, Veronica, was born Florence Greenglass to a Jewish family in Brooklyn. She converted to Catholicism and married Paul Dubner, also a Jewish convert from the Brownsville section of Brooklyn.

The two raised eight children on a 36-acre farm in Duanesburg where Sunday Mass and nightly recitation of the Rosary were a part of their routine. Judaism was in their distant past, something they didn't discuss with their children.

Family story

Stephen, their youngest child, is now a writer and editor for The New York Times Magazine -- and a practicing Jew. His return to the faith of his ancestors strained his relationship with his mother, a story he explores in "Turbulent Souls: A Catholic Son's Return to His Jewish Family" (William Morrow and Company, $24).

"The Catholic Church and the Jews have had an often lousy history," he told The Evangelist. "The last 25 years have been revolutionary. But we must be patient. You can't change two millennia of history in a month."

While the history of the two faiths has been rocky, so, too, has the relationship between parent and child in the Dubner family. When the author's father converted to Catholicism during World War II, for example, his father sat shiva, declaring his son dead and forbidding his name to be spoken again.

Likewise, as Stephen embraced Judaism, he found his relationship with his mother strained. They eventually reached peace only after Cardinal John O'Connor of New York City explained the Vatican's teaching on the validity of Judaism and the importance of following one's conscience.

Faith and family

Mr. Dubner hopes that his book will help other families struggling with religious differences.

"Religion is not meant to tear families apart," he said. "The chief aim of religion is to live a productive life, leaving the world better than when you entered, and to treat the other guy as you want to be treated. I don't think God took great delight in my grandfather sitting shiva for my father."

While he can understand that a child's decision to practice another religion can hurt a parent, he said there is no reason it should ruin the parent-child relationship. In fact, he credits his Catholic upbringing for allowing him to practice Judaism.

"The Catholic framework I grew up with allowed me to be a Jew today," he said.

Moderation

The story of the Dubner family, the author said, shows the importance of moderation. "Too much zeal can harm a family," he said.

For example, his father felt suffocated by the piety of his own father, and the author had a similar reaction to his parent's zeal. Each night, the family prayed the Rosary. In the summer, the ritual was done outside.

"Gallupville Road was lightly traveled," he writes in his book. "But spread out there on the lawn for our evening Rosary, I would shudder whenever the sound of a car did arise, for that might carry a friend or classmate whose sighting of us would only reinforce the belief that the Dubners lived in the district of Devotion that bordered on Fanatical. It was one thing to be known as a churchgoing family and quite another to pray right out there on your own property."

In passing on religion to children, he said, "a little moderation can sweeten the medicine."

Interfaith effort

Another goal of his book is to help Catholics understand Jewish traditions and vice versa, he said. That can prevent problems from developing.

"The vast majority of religious insensitivity comes from a lack of understanding," he said. "One solution is to learn it. It's easier to play up the differences, but I'm much more interested in looking at the points where they [the two faiths] intersect."

Comments from his sisters have led the author to believe he has succeeded on this front. They have said how much more they understand about Judaism after having read his book.

"To watch my sisters learn [about Judaism] has been inspiring," he said. "It hasn't weakened their commitment to Catholicism at all. They are models of faith in moderation."

Historic connections

Mr. Dubner's family history intersects with American history several times. His father met Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Worker movement, and pledged himself to the cause. At a Catholic Worker farm in Pennsylvania, Mrs. Dubner learned to make whole-wheat bread while her husband built a chicken coop. The experience led the two to make a decision about their future.

"And so it was that the Dubners decided upon the fabric of their future: Catholicism would be their warp and healthy living their woof, woven so tightly as to be indistinguishable, and indestructible," Mr. Dubner writes.

Day was not the only historical figure to touch the lives of this family. Mrs. Dubner was related to Ethel and Julius Rosenberg, who were executed in 1953 for being "atom spies."

"When I found out we were related, I was totally shocked," Mr. Dubner said. "Growing up, I knew a lot more about Dorothy Day than the Rosenbergs."

Change in life

Having an understanding of both Catholicism and Judaism has led Mr. Dubner to see himself as a Judeo-Christian. A friend said to him, "God gave you a mission: to be a Judeo-Christian. You're not supposed to understand what that is. You're just supposed to do it, and do it with the strength of Hercules."

"The book was the opportunity to express the yearning of one soul in public," Mr. Dubner said. "It was the opportunity to tell a story that is honest, painful and entertaining. It explores the strength and weakness of the Judeo-Christian tradition. It is a small contribution to how the Judeo-Christian idea plays across time."

("Turbulent Souls" is available in most bookstores. For information, visit the publisher's website at www.williammorrow.com.)