Deacon balances work, family and ministry

"It's possible to do almost everything you want to, if you do time management!"

Those words could be Deacon Michael Ryba's motto -- and, if he ever forgets them, his wife Kim is sure to remind him to take a "time-out" from his busy schedule.

Like many permanent deacons in the Albany Diocese, Deacon Ryba juggles a complicated mix of secular work (managing Amsterdam's water treatment plant), liturgical ministry (in his case, at three Amsterdam parishes) and ministry to the elderly (visiting five adult and nursing homes in Amsterdam on a rotating basis).

"It all just seems to work," he said. "My wife and I have dinner, and I'll run out to one of the [nursing] homes. Other days, there may be a finance committee meeting; I do marriage prep; if the pastor can't make a wake, I'll go out and do wake services. The evenings are busy."

'Wake-up calls'

Amazingly, Deacon Ryba knew nothing about the permanent diaconate when he started to feel a pull toward a vocation in the 1990s.

A native of Amsterdam who had grown up attending St. Stanislaus parish and school, he had considered the priesthood, but married instead and raised a son and daughter, now 31 and 30.

"Most deacons have a similar background," he noted.

After his children were grown, Deacon Ryba started to get literal "wake-up calls": Over and over, he would dream about getting involved with the Church and wake up with a start in the middle of the night.

Inspiration

Then his mother-in-law, a Baptist, became ill and moved in with the family while in hospice care. Deacon Ryba saw how her visiting minister juggled a job as an engineer, home and family, and leading a church on the weekends. He was inspired.

He learned about what deacons do and about the Formation for Ministry Program (FMP), which prepares Catholics in the Albany Diocese for parish leadership positions. Deacon Ryba realized he'd found his path: becoming a permanent deacon.

"I met him once since my [2003] ordination," he said of the Baptist minister. "I let him know, and he gave me a big hug."

Advisor

One of only two deacons serving Montgomery County, Deacon Ryba particularly enjoys working with the elderly.

"I lost both my parents early; my dad was 51 and my mom was 56," he explained.

As a result, he tells seniors -- like the one at Mount Loretto Nursing Home who recently fretted to him about being a burden to her family -- that he's sure they are grateful to have her with them.

"Maybe that's my connection to the sick and infirm now," he theorized. "What they do for me, they have no idea."

Counseling

The deacon also preaches monthly at the three parishes he serves -- St. Casimir's, St. John the Baptist and St. Stanislaus -- and routinely meets parents who vent after Mass about struggles with teenage children, knowing their deacon has been there himself.

"I let them know, 'It's nothing you've done. There's a generation gap.' I tell them it's going to get better," he said. "To be there as someone affiliated with the Church who also [dealt] with teenage years with kids....People approach you, and you're able to help people out."

Mentor

Deacon Ryba just spent several months mentoring Charles Valenti, a Cohoes native currently in formation to become a deacon.

He said he advised the newcomer, "You've got to keep on discerning. Even myself, I ask, 'Am I doing this for the right reason?' The answer always comes back, 'I am -- for the people of my community.'"

The diaconate "is a ministry that puts you in the middle of everything: your family, your work, your Church," he remarked.

He believes that seeing people with families working in the Church will encourage much-needed lay volunteers: "It's not just priests or deacons who are going to hold the Church together; it's all of us together."

(Learn more about the permanent diaconate by calling 453-6678, or go to www.rcda.org/offices/deacons.)

(9/6/07)