Coworkers describe gentle, dedicated leader

Although Bishop Joseph Estabrook registered surprise upon hearing of his appointment to the position of auxiliary bishop in the Archdiocese of Military Services, his colleague, Sister Marlene Miller, DC, didn't.

"When he told me, I said, 'I've been expecting this,'" laughed Sister Marlene, director of religious education at the Marine Corps base in Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

Protestant chaplain Lt. Winnie Walmsley also noticed that something was in the works for her superior -- after all, he had disappeared from the office on very short notice.

"He just left, all of a sudden," she said. "Nobody leaves that quick in the military unless there's something big happening."

Looking back

As Bishop Estabrook took up his new duties, the staff of the Marine Base Chapel reflected on their years of working with him.

"Someone with that kind of courage, you want to have around forever," said Chaplain Walmsley. "To have that kind of passion for the job -- you really hate to lose that. We'll feel that loss for a long time."

For the congregants at the Marine Base Chapel, according to Sister Marlene, Bishop Estabrook has been gentle and influential, gaining the affections of families of all faiths living on the base.

"He has the ability to keep people very much at ease just upon meeting them," she explained. "He's great with the kids. He has that appeal; the people feel like his homilies are directed just towards them. There's this old saying that 'I can't hear what you're saying because your actions are screaming at me.' And his actions are mirroring what the Gospels hold for us."

Gifts and talents

Sister Marlene came to Marine Corps Base Hawaii five years ago and has spent 17 years running religious ed programs on Army bases. She said that she has always been impressed with what she called Bishop Estabrook's "ability to make God real" for the soldiers -- relating God to their lives and to the lives of their families.

For families, she said, he fostered the idea of a "little Church" of the family among often-rootless and separated military families -- keeping them close to God, connected to the Church and communicating with one another.

"That concept will last long with our people," she noted.

Bishop Estabrook served as a model for Chaplain Walmsley, who is on her first tour of duty at the base. She said that serving with him was "an honor and a privilege. He reminds us how to be a good chaplain: that nothing is more important than the people you serve. That is your priority. Everything else will fall into place."

Bishop Estabrook, she said, always listened, gave a good idea fair play and had time for his staff and congregation, no matter what else was on his plate.

"He was fair and to the point -- but, also, for someone who is as busy as he was, he was able to stop mid-flight and give you his full attention, and remind us that that's what we need to do for others," explained Chaplain Walmsley.

All in the family

She also painted him as an able ecumenist at the multi-faith chapel, "valuing everybody's opinion, no matter what denomination. He was an example of how to respect everyone else's faith while honoring your own."

Chaplain Walmsley noted that Bishop Estabrook had a hectic schedule as the base command chaplain: On top of his regular duties, he helped out at local parishes, spearheaded the construction of a new base chapel, brought a non-alcoholic recreation center to the base, and -- in a nod to his past role as Albany diocesan Family Life director -- headed up Retrouvaille weekends for married couples.

Delrene Reames, the chapel's administrative assistant, was impressed with the bishop's administrative acumen and his ability to gather 14 chaplains of different faiths (as well as support staff, volunteers, parishioners and catechists) together as a team.

Kudos

"He is one of the people that I am really going to admire" for life, she said. "He opens your eyes and lets you know that you are good at what you do. He's a very positive person. He taps into your best qualities -- brings it all out and makes us shine as a team."

According to Ms. Reames, who has worked for the chapel for five years, Bishop Estabrook has never been afraid to "get his hands dirty," to do the legwork to get a program running: connecting with people, finding money, recruiting volunteers.

When Sister Marlene rose at Mass a few months ago to explain why Bishop Estabrook had needed to fly to Washington, DC, so quickly, there was a standing ovation. She said that now, his former flock at Kaneohe Bay is "riding high." 

(7/15/04)