Couple plays pivotal role by mentoring

At first, Linda and Doug Priest thought they would be helping ten-year-old Thomas with his homework. But, as their Thursday mentoring visits to his elementary school whizzed by in a flurry of math, English and board games, they noticed a change in the pattern.

"By the time we got there, he already had it done," explained Mrs. Priest, a parishioner of St. Patrick's Church in Ravena. "He knew we were coming and wanted to play."

The Priests have been mentoring Thomas, now 11, for 16 months through Albany diocesan Catholic Charities' Juvenile Mentoring Program.

"This year, we're really going to push him to join a sports team at school," Mrs. Priest said. "He's always on my mind as far as things we do. And if we haven't seen him in a week, we miss him."

Preventing drop-outs

Selina Dobbs, co-coordinator of the mentoring program, said that the focus of the mentoring program "is on keeping kids in school and preventing an increase in the dropout rate."

Many of the 21 students in the program are in elementary school or early middle school, years when youngsters face the trials of oncoming adolescence, and attempt to answer questions of identity, belonging and purpose.

Ms. Dobbs noted that some children have less-than-ideal family situations or are part of a single-parent household where the parent works two or more jobs to make ends meet. Sometimes, there's no cash for anything beyond paying the bills. Other times, the parents are in prison or are addicted to drugs; others are stretched so thin they don't know their children are struggling or can't help with schoolwork.

"We try to get consistency in these children's lives," Ms. Dobbs continued. "Some of them need role models because there's no father in the home. Some of their parents are single dads, or grandparents are raising them. And if you have idle time in certain neighborhoods, you're just asking for trouble. There are not enough activities out there to keep children involved. The mentor is not going to fill that whole idle time, but they can encourage the child to get more involved" with school or other worthwhile programs.

Changing Thomas

In the time Thomas has been mentored, said Mrs. Priest, he's started to play chess; attended Camp Scully, the diocesan summer camp; and got involved with a few clubs at school.

He also likes to play video games with the Priests' two teenage sons and has seen a considerable increase in his reading level. Ms. Dobbs calls him "a success story."

Mrs. Priest said that Thomas, while extremely close to his grandmother, who is raising him, had been looking for a male role model. He found that in Mr. Priest and his two sons.

"He follows them around," Mrs. Priest noted. "He really enjoys being around my husband and my two boys."

Needs

The ideal mentor is an adult professional with a "good work ethic" and an ability to instill that in others. Many mentors are single, with the time and ability to make a mentoring commitment that ranges from one to several hours per week.

The program is working on gaining exposure and recruiting adults willing to serve as mentors. It is also holding fundraisers to allow Ms. Dobbs to run field trips for the children who do not have mentors. They would be taken to aquariums, museums and theme parks, places many of the children and their families can't afford to go.

"The trips will enrich their lives," and let them "have fun and just be children," Ms. Dobbs said. The goal is "making them feel important, that they matter to someone."

Tied together

Mrs. Priest, who is a second-grade catechist at her parish and serves on its pastoral council, said that she can't imagine ending her involvement with Thomas any time soon.

"His grandmother said, 'He's graduating from sixth grade; you're already on the list [to attend the ceremony].' I say, 'You better put me on for high school, too.'"

Thomas "used to say that he's gonna be a wrestler when he grows up," Mrs. Priest noted. "But now he says: After he goes to college, he'll be a wrestler."

(The Juvenile Mentoring Program began five years ago with a grant from the NYS Office of Juvenile Justice. The program originally received referrals from the Albany City School District. Now, it operates on its own, taking referrals from human-service and prevention agencies. It is funded by Albany diocesan Catholic Charities, the United Way and Albany County.)

(2/17/05)