April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
ECUMENICAL DIALOGUE
Catholic strives to be 'better neighbor' to people who are gay
After her return from the three-day ecumenical meeting in Philadelphia, Mrs. Bellafiore said she's awaiting guidance from above: "I don't know what's next. If the Holy Spirit acts in a certain way, there will be more doors [opening] for me."
A parishioner of St. Vincent de Paul Church in Albany who works as resource coordinator and marriage preparation registrar for the Albany Diocese's Office of Evangelization, Catechesis and Family Life, Mrs. Bellafiore said she has always experienced her parish as welcoming to all.
She quoted parish life director Elizabeth Rowe-Manning, who calls St. Vincent's "a place of radical hospitality." But Mrs. Bellafiore -- a straight, married Catholic -- wanted to learn more about providing that hospitality. She started last fall by attending a colloquium at the University of Notre Dame called "Gay in Christ: Dimensions of Fidelity," presented by Notre Dame's Institute for Church Life. Speakers there presented academic papers on the topic.
"The presenters talked about how the Church could better serve Catholics who regard themselves as non-heterosexual and who accept Catholic teaching on marriage and sexuality," she told The Evangelist. "I went to hear members of this community -- faithful Catholics with same-sex attraction -- tell their stories and share their ideas about what we, the Church, can do better to 'be Christ' for one another."
At the Notre Dame gathering, Mrs. Bellafiore got several suggestions:
• Provide meaningful opportunities for all people's involvement in parish life;
• cultivate sincere friendships;
• avoid language that is unwelcoming and judgmental;
• view sexual orientation as a blessing, not a cross to bear;
• be "someone whose life looks like something someone else might want;" and
• improve understanding of Church teachings on sexuality.
"Before you can be your brother's keeper, you have to be your brother's brother," Mrs. Bellafiore said. "People with same-sex attraction must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity."
That experience led her to attend the "Oriented to Love" gathering, which was sponsored by the non-profit group Evangelicals for Social Action (ESA).
ESA is overseen by Palmer Theological Seminary of Eastern University in Pennsylvania, a Baptist college. "I was the only Catholic in the group" of a dozen mostly Evangelical participants in the dialogue - some gay, and all but one of those living in chastity, said Mrs. Bellafiore.
Some members of the group were in ministry with their denominations and had been forced to step down from church-related positions because of their viewpoints on sexual orientation, she learned.
"I heard them share their burdens, their fear, their loneliness, because of an orientation they did not choose. They are devout followers of Jesus [and] church teaching."
Mrs. Bellafiore spoke about her concern that the Catholic Church has marginalized various groups of people, and also about her love for and pride in the Church.
"Thanks in part to Pope Francis, the Catholic Church is speaking more openly and kindly to and about gay Catholics," she told The Evangelist. "I see that the Church wants to learn how to better welcome and minister to the gay community."
Mrs. Bellafiore came back from the gathering "sensitized to the shame, fear and loneliness of the LGBT [lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender] community." Participating in the dialogue, she said, "challenges me to look at my responsibility."
As she reflects on exactly what that means, Mrs. Bellafiore remarked that "a motto often heard at my parish is, 'All are welcome.' I sincerely hope that everyone does feel welcomed at the church I attend, just as I hope everyone at every church feels welcomed and included. We are all the body of Christ."
She said she's thinking about a "big question: Is there a way for the Church to grow in how we love and serve our neighbors?" [[In-content Ad]]
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