Catholic Charities changed her life

Shareeba Reynolds had been in 14 foster homes in the Newburgh area by the time she was 16.

Along the way, she was molested by at least two of her foster fathers, beaten with electrical cords and frying pans, and forced to eat raw eggs and her own vomit. Whenever she complained, she was simply moved to another home.

By the time she arrived in Albany in 1998, 16 and pregnant, she was fighting in school and her foster mother couldn't handle her. Shareeba ended up at the Joyce Center, a Catholic Charities home for pregnant adolescents.

Changed life

Today, at 23, Shareeba is the proud mother of six-year-old Trayvon and three-year-old Mone't. She lives independently, works for Farano Center for Children and hopes to pursue a college degree in social work.

She credits her success to both her own desire for independence and to Community Maternity Services, the Catholic Charities agency that oversees services to teen parents.

When she originally found out she was pregnant, Shareeba said she was happy about it. "I thought I was grown," she remembered, shaking her head. "I played with baby dolls till I was 13 or 14; I love babies. I decided to keep [the baby]."

Living at the Joyce Center with other pregnant teens after her foster mother sent her to Albany was a kind of awakening.

"I learned a lot about myself I didn't know," Shareeba said. "The staff there were a help to us."

Structured life

About 30 young women per year live at the Joyce Center, where their daily schedule is strict. Since there's a strong emphasis on education, residents get up early for school, sometimes taking classes with an in-house teacher.

Afternoons are reserved for household chores, then dinner and group sessions on parenting skills, independent living, avoiding substance abuse, healthy eating and other topics. Shareeba fondly recalled making a sculpture of her pregnant belly in an art class. Residents are in bed by about 10:30.

"It's all a matter of providing predictability, proving through your actions that you're a reliable person," noted Jackie Buff-Rogers, who runs the Joyce, Heery, Supervised Independent Living Program (SILP) and Farano programs. "Most of our kids have had multiple placements [in foster care, group homes and the like], which certainly affects your ability to trust anybody."

Transition

SILP residents -- about four or five per year, sharing apartments -- manage their own bills, jobs, education and day care for their children, with advice from CMS staff.

Shareeba "skipped over" living at Heery Center, the step in-between Joyce and SILP, where about 30 mothers and their infants spend a year or so learning about parenting.

The independent living program was where Shareeba started to blossom. She got her high school equivalency diploma -- "thank God," she said -- and a part-time job at CVS, finding it "fun" to be mostly on her own.

During that time, she became pregnant a second time. Shareeba gave birth to Mone't and stayed in the SILP program until Trayvon was three. By then, Shareeba was 21 and had "aged out" of eligibility for the Catholic Charities program.

Turn-around

Determined to make her life work and provide stability for her children, she re-established a relationship with Mone't's father, got a job as a security guard, bought a car and made sure she paid all her bills herself.

She also started going to church, now an important part of her life.

She's extremely proud of those accomplishments. "I like to be independent," she told The Evangelist. "I pay my daughter's day care, car insurance, bills -- I don't depend on anybody else."

Model for others

When she settled in Albany, Shareeba also started applying to work for Catholic Charities, saying, "I can help others that are in my situation [and] answer questions."

After several tries, she landed a job last August with the Farano Center, where she works with children removed from their homes due to abuse, neglect or mental and behavioral issues. Shareeba described a recent day with two boys, ages seven and 13; she made them breakfast, administered their medication and took them on an outing to buy some toys.

But even more important to her are the times when Shareeba fills in for someone at Joyce or Heery Center, advising young mothers whose life stories she knows all too well to finish school, start working and get "out of the system."

"They can't wait till they have their babies; they want to go home; they want to see their boyfriends -- just like the average teenager," said the now-seasoned mom. "We have our talks. I tell them, 'Stick it out -- use the help while you have help, because most kids don't get that.'"

One pregnant teen recently asked Shareeba to be her labor coach.

"I felt kind of good about that," Shareeba said, smiling.

'Remarkable'

Mrs. Buff-Rogers said that many of the young mothers are drawn to Shareeba, whom she calls "a remarkable young person."

"We have a lot of success stories like Shareeba's," the program director added. "It's people like Shareeba that keep us doing what we do. Shareeba's kids are beautiful, and she has done such a good job in raising them without a lot of support."

Shareeba said that many teenagers she works with share a common history with her: They have been molested by adults they trusted.

"That happened to me for a good year," Shareeba noted. She now believes that she acted out and got pregnant as a teenager because she was sexually abused.

After getting her degree, Shareeba noted, "I'll probably work for one of these [CMS] programs or Child Protective Services, because of my negative experience [with foster care]. I also want to be a foster parent."

Bettering lives

"These young women [in CMS programs] have other choices they could make," the director said, "but they don't make those choices. They come to us with a desire to make a better life for their children than they had themselves, and they long for someone to help them."

Without CMS, Shareeba remarked, "I'd probably have four or five kids by now. Being here taught me a lot. Being a young teenage mother, having no help at home, I would recommend living at the Joyce Center. There's a lot of help; there's more here you can learn than being out on the streets."

(CMS is always in need of diapers, baby formula, and infant and toddler clothing. Volunteers are also needed to mentor young women. To help, call Erin Johnson, 482-8836. Among CMS' services are the Joyce Center; the Heery Center for Young Families, where teen mothers transition to after having their babies; and the Supervised Independent Living Program, a pair of apartments in Albany where young mothers live in a last step before moving on to complete independence.)

(4/14/05)