Candidates stride and tumble toward vocations

The call to ministry can be discerned in different ways. Some feel called to lay ministry as spouses, parents or volunteer workers in their parish. Others feel called to ordained ministries like the diaconate or the priesthood that take a commitment for a lifetime. The Evangelist sought out three men who have chosen the latter as a lifelong vocation to learn if the discernment process is different, similar or the same for each person. 

Toward diaconate

Larry Steiger, 48, is a husband and father. He also works for his parish, St. John the Baptist in Amsterdam, where he has served as the parish/cemetery caretaker for the past ten years. A convert to Roman Catholicism 20 years ago, Mr. Steiger is currently discerning the ministry of the diaconate. He recently attended the diocesan Formation for Ministry program, a two-year education and formation process for lay leadership that is required of those planning to apply for the diaconate program. He said he applied to the diaconate and was accepted as an aspirant for one year. 

“During aspirancy, a man continues the process of deciding what God is calling him to do. For one year I see a spiritual director and explore different ways of meditating on Scripture and on prayer. My wife Carol participates in the prayer with me. It’s for the both of us,” he said.

After aspirancy, if both the candidate and the diocese believe the individual has a call to the diaconate, then he is accepted into formal candidacy for a three-year period.
“I’ve always had a need to be of service to others. Part of what I think my call to the diaconate is, is this desire to serve others,” Mr. Steiger said. “It wasn’t anything like 
a lightning bolt. I just thought being a deacon might be the right fit for me,” he said.

A priest perhaps

Scott VanDerveer, 33, is currently living at the St. Isaac Jogues House of Discernment in Green Island. He is a religion teacher at St. Pius X School in Loudonville. Originally from Rochester, Mr. VanDerveer said that he has been looking at the priesthood for a long time, 16 years. This year he jumped in deeper. 

“I’ve known that I have a call to the priesthood for a while now. Before I took the leap, I wanted to do certain things in my life, you know, be in charge of what I wanted to get done, what job I’d choose to work at after college, what ministries I’d like to participate in and I’ve done it,” said Mr. VanDerveer.

“This was the year I asked myself, ‘how much longer am I going to wait, living in my own apartment, trying one thing after another, before I decide to look deeper into whether or not the priesthood is what I’m called to.’ So I made the decision to get to the discernment meetings and then I moved into Isaac Jogues House,” he said.

Yielding to God

Discernment has not been easy. 

“It’s a big adjustment to go from living by myself into living in an intentional faith-based house with others, where your schedule is set out for you,” said Mr. VanDerveer. “You have specific duties that include prayer time, work time and also some personal free time; but, for the most part, your time is not your own,” he said. “Surrendering to God’s will is what I have to do now.”

Mr. VanDerveer voiced some concern about changing his role in the Church. 

“In my life I’ve had a great opportunity to be involved in lots of different ministries and I’ve enjoyed my role in these ministries from the lay perspective.” For example, he teaches religion to 140 youths. 

“I am a young man and they relate to me as such. As a priest, my role will change; their interpretation of me as a minister will change. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing; what I’m saying is that giving it up is a sacrifice for me. I suppose that’s what the discernment process is about, dying to self.

“I view the priesthood as a definite and particular role and I am on that path, at least for right now. I am excited because I imagine what it must be like to be a priest and can’t imagine a role that would be more intimate or more deeply satisfying for me. The threshold is now and for me, it’s in the surrendering,” he said.

The certain cleric

Rev. Paul Catena has just celebrated his first year of ordained priesthood and serves as an associate at Christ the King parish in Albany. Asked to reflect on his own time of vocational discernment, he said his responses were similar to those of the other men.
Father Catena is a former journalist and Civil Service worker for the State of New York. He told The Evangelist that he put off discernment for the priesthood for many years because he felt his primary vocation would be that of a husband and father but, according to him, the “right woman just never came along.

“I come from a large Italian family. I always looked forward to the day when I’d have a wife and my own children. It’s what I wanted for a long time but it seems that God had other plans for me,” he said.

“Back in 2001 when I was working in the State Senate I decided to go to a discernment meeting. My sister-in-law made the suggestion; she’d been praying for me and thought I’d make a great priest,” said Father Catena. “I was shocked to learn that testimonies from others were just like my own situation. These men had the same concerns I did, they felt the same feelings. I realized then that I might have a call to the priesthood after all.”

He admitted that getting into the seminary happened quickly for him. The first meeting he attended was in February; by August he had quit his job and applied to and been accepted by a seminary.

“Those first four years were not pleasant for me, though. I thought my struggles were over when in fact they continued – and they were awful. I had doubts, I didn’t want to give up my freedom, my career or my potential for having that family I’d dreamed of for so long,” he admitted.

Clouds parting

For four years, he stuck it out and finally the clear answer he was seeking came, just as he began his pastoral year as a candidate, the same year he would enter preparation to be ordained a transitional deacon.

“I wasn’t getting answers from God, but I knew in my heart that God wanted me to be a priest. I was frustrated, and sometimes angry; I didn’t want to be an angry or bitter priest, though, so God and I had some deep conversations,” Father Catena noted.
For him, entering the process of spiritual direction allowed him to finally to discern his call.

“I was able to voice my feelings to my director. I finally was able to say why I wanted to become a priest. That was my liberation. I guess those first four years made up the process of dying to myself, of letting go and finally being able to hear God’s call to me,” he said.

“I feel completely fulfilled, I’m happy. I know that there will still be adjustments to make, things to learn. People seem to think that once a man is ordained a priest, 30 years of experience are magically dropped on him. It isn’t that way at all,” Father Catena said.
“When God calls we somehow know it. Answering that call is what discernment is all about.”

(8/23/07)