April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
Can you guess my saint?
"I am Number 22. `Work and pray' are the words I shared with all who lived in the monastery at Subiaco, Italy."
With that sentence, I began my "no longer than five-minute summary of the life of a famous saint," a milestone for all seventh graders at St. Ambrose School in Latham that also marked our introduction to speaking before large gatherings.
Back in the 1950s and '60s, the Sisters of the Presentation believed that everyone with a tongue could be successful in this exercise, even if the audience was made up of fifth-graders.
Day of saints
Because Nov. 1 was a holy day of obligation in honor of the saints, all Catholic school students were entitled to a day free of academic obligations. No classes, no homework, no sweat. Or so our envious public school neighbors thought. Little did they know how much many of us envied them!
The reality was that while they gleefully plotted their Halloween trick-or-treating strategies in early October, many at St. Ambrose were dreading the sight of the number 31 on their calendars. For us, Oct. 31 was not merely Halloween -- it was the day of the All Saints Pageant.
As a result, there was no room in our minds for frivolous thoughts.
Assignment
"You will choose a saint you would like to portray by Oct. 15th, and you will spend your recess time for the following two weeks rehearsing your five-minute description of that saint's life," the sisters would say. "Remember: this is an autobiographical sketch, and you will speak as that saint would speak."
Those were threatening words to some and a great opportunity for others, especially those contemplating a future in politics or the theater.
Only later in life when I went on to pursue a career as a teacher and coach did I fully come to appreciate the extent of the groundwork these pageants laid. Adequate voice projection and a flair for the dramatic can, indeed, be great assets in my endeavors!
Steps toward pageant
First, one had to research the chosen saint. Some students would tell the story of St. Joseph the Carpenter, St. Paul the Convert, or Mary, the Mother of Jesus. Those would not be very challenging to the student body, who would attempt to match the saint's portrayal number (remember: I was Number 22) with the proper name on a long list of saints.
Of course, there were a few more saints on the list than there were numbers. No test was a guarantee at St. Ambrose.
But there were some challenging possibilities in the book of saints -- like St. Sylvester and St. Dymphna, for example. Why be nice to the little fifth graders who were going to laugh at our costumes and chuckle at our nervousness?
So I chose "a saint who was a hermit and founded an order of monks who lived long before the printing press. Our group would create and copy many books of learning. We also built several famous monasteries."
Costumed
The final challenge was left to our mothers, whose duty it was to design and assemble the correct attire for the saint of the hour -- oops, I mean five minutes!
To this day, I wonder how many other students rolled their eyes as frugal mothers cajoled: "But you'll make such a perfect little priest (or monk or nun)."
All of this for five minutes on Halloween day -- and no recess for two weeks! The great preparation having been completed, it was, indeed, show time -- and another Maalox moment.
Revealed
I was Number 22. If you haven't guessed my identity yet, don't be too disappointed. Not many in the fifth grade that year did either.
But if you guessed St. Benedict, go to the head of the class -- and enjoy your recess! You certainly earned it!
(Mr. Hauprich is now in his 21st year as a math teacher and coach at Saratoga Central Catholic High School.)
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