Caitlyn was here

By MATTHEW ROCHE- | Comments: 0 | Leave a comment

(Editor's note: Caitlyn Roche, who was severely disabled, passed away suddenly Nov. 20 at age 29. She lived a full life and had a great impact on many who knew her. She received her First Communion and loved Mass and the Rosary. Her brother offered this eulogy.)

Caitlyn died at the 11th hour on the 20th of November, the same month in which she was born in 1984. Cate, I'm so grateful for the gifts you shared with all of us. You were a vessel through which Christ did His work, and life lessons passed through you to us all.

You are the personification of the Beatitudes: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven....Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God." You've illuminated Scripture right before our eyes. That is a gift beyond words.

In growing up with you, I of course came to realize that you never gave up these answers easily. You did, however, make me and all of us in the family ask the right questions. And now, at the end, you've provided us with such wonderful insights that I haven't known whether to laugh or cry - so I've done both, sometimes simultaneously.

What I've come to know is that all the answers you've revealed, and continue to reveal, have always pointed to the immutable truth, to the principles by which we are called to live as Christians: namely, to love and support our family and neighbors, to protect the weak and those who have no voice, to treat one another as we would have them treat us.

As Christ said, "I did not come to be served, but to serve." Caitlyn, you have served Christ in a way few could, and your good impact on those lucky enough to have known you will resonate with us forever. You have served as a ransom for the many.

Cate came into this world with great difficulty. Together, our parents heeded God's call and never wavered. For that devotion and for that love, I'm truly astonished and frankly I'm in awe.

My father can be stoic at times, and as a result it may be easy to think he is proceeding with a sort of grim determination. Yet, when looking back through all of our old photos of my dad with Catie, I see so much joy and care radiating between the two of them.

Dad's life has not always been the easiest, yet he is the type of man who always does the right thing - the things that can easily go unnoticed, such as changing diapers, carrying Cate upstairs to bed and in and out of the car, and feeding Cate.

I cannot recall a single instance in which my dad sought credit for his unending devotion to Cate. Yet, daily, deliberately, he set about to make sure her needs, as well as those of the entire family, were met and that we were taken care of.

My mom has been the spiritual center around which my family has orbited. With Caitlyn, my mother was a wonderful caregiver and a constant advocate. The ways in which she demanded that Caitlyn take her rightful place in society - in public schools, in right to life - is a gift from which other families with similar circumstances will no doubt benefit. My mother overturned every stone if she felt it could be of service to her daughter, and woe to the person who stood in the way.

Mom, too, always does the right thing - whether it is popular or not, regardless of how she may be judged. She's generous and caring, and always seems to be buying or making a gift for somebody.

I know that when I want to reset my compass and find true north again, I have nowhere to look but home - to see the love and devotion that existed between my parents and my sister, and between each other.

Caitlyn knew she had a home, she knew she had a family and she knew she was loved. That is a credit to my parents. As is written in Matthew Chapter 20: "Whatsoever you do to the least of my people, that, you do unto me." The example by which my parents raised Caitlyn has had a lasting impact on all of us, and the fruits are now being borne with the grandkids. We never would have known the depths of my parents' love were it not for the ways in which they demonstrated that with Catie.

When Catie was born on Nov. 6, 1984, my mom had a C-section, so she stayed in the hospital for two weeks. On Nov. 20, she was released from the hospital, but Catie could not leave with her due to her severe condition. Catie passed away 29 years later, to the day, of my mom leaving her behind. For all of the days in between, Mom never let Catie leave her side again.

In the parable of the workers in the vineyard, Jesus instructed His followers, "The last will be first, and the first will be last." Caitlyn, I have no doubt about where you currently reside. The weak and disabled are pushed to the margins of our society, and are frankly looked at as people who cannot contribute. Yet look around you today, absorb the love that is being shared by us here - and know that this of all came from Caitlyn.

You were last on earth; you are first in God's kingdom. I marvel at the riches that you must now be receiving. I know you are there with all those who went before us. I know you are free from the shackles of your broken body. I know you will always be with me and all of us. I know we will see you again. We love you.[[In-content Ad]]