Book tells story of nun and child

Unlike other little girls, Barbara was born with the HIV virus, orphaned at a young age, adopted by a Sister of Mercy, taught the adults she met much about life and death, and died of AIDS just shy of her ninth birthday.

Barbara's short but remarkable life is the subject of a new book, "That Place Called Home," written by her adoptive mother, Sister Mary Ann LoGiudice, RSM, and by Times Union reporter Paul Grondahl.

First meeting

Although a native of Putnam County in southern New York, Barbara found herself at Farano Center, a diocesan agency for families affected by HIV-AIDS, because there were no shelters downstate that would take HIV-positive children.

BY July of that year, Sister Mary Ann had received permission to become Barbara's foster mother. In October 1990, she legally adopted her.

At center

"Barbara is the central figure," she said, "the heart and soul of the narrative. A tiny waif, a mere slip of a girl, Barbara never weighed more than 40 pounds, even when she was healthy. She drifted into my world like an autumn leaf carried on the wind and transformed me, my family, and a community of friends with her extraordinary life force and amazing grace."

The book was years in the making. A few years after Barbara died, Sister Mary Ann was contacted by the Family Theater in California, a division of The Family Rosary, about making a television movie about Barbara's life. At that time, Sister Mary Ann felt uncomfortable with the idea. The offer did make her realize, however, that she would like "a little book" about Barbara's life.

Chapter one

Although busy with another project, Mr. Grondahl agreed to work with Sister Mary Ann on the book. The two would speak on the phone late on Sunday while Sister Mary Ann recounted the stories of Barbara's life.

"For a year, we had a weekly conversation at 10:30 or 11 o'clock at night," she said.

Co-workers of Mr. Grondahl encouraged him to publish the story in the Times Union. A version first appeared in 1998 and was reprinted in Reader's Digest. The full story, recently published by Servant Publications, includes a foreword by Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

Unique relationship

The two also were quiet about Barbara's HIV status. "When Barbara was diagnosed, it was still pretty early [in the AIDS epidemic]. There was still a lot of fear and misconceptions," explained Sister Mary Ann. "It was not to her advantage to have people know."

For that reason, only necessary staff at Doane Stuart School in Albany, where Barbara was a student, knew of her status. "By the time she died, it was common knowledge," said Sister Mary Ann, "but I had no idea that they knew."

Telling people

"It's hard not telling anyone, especially in school," she said. "I really want to spit it out and be done. I guess if the kids knew they wouldn't play with me. I wish that they would treat me the same way."

Despite the difficulty Barbara experienced in keeping her secret, Sister Mary Ann has no regrets about how they handled it. "I feel we did the right thing," she said. "It's frightening for people. Attitudes have changed somewhat, but people are still confused."

Shared moments

Prior to being told that she had HIV, Barbara seemed to know this already. "Barbara knew she was HIV-infected," said Sister Mary Ann. "She was an extremely bright child who was wise beyond her years. Somewhere, though, in her heart, she hoped she wasn't HIV-infected."

Juggling work and single parenthood was a challenge for Sister Mary Ann, but she had extended family and friends who were available to assist her. The experience of single motherhood has given her a new appreciation for the young mothers served by CMS; they often must meet the demands of parenthood without the type of support that she had.

Adoption

"We continually talk about adoption," she said. "In some ways, it was easier when Barbara was here because it was a lived example."

Sister Mary Ann has watched as young mothers go through with their adoption plans and said that this process is heart- wrenching for them. She also knows of the deep grief experienced by parents who have been waiting to adopt and knows of their capacity to love.

More to come?

Again, there is interest in making a TV movie about Barbara and Sister Mary Ann. However, the book provided Sister Mary Ann with a way of telling Barbara's story and maintaining control. Movies often change events to provide more drama, she said.

Sister Mary Ann hopes that the book will celebrate Barbara's life and help tear down misconceptions that exist about HIV and AIDS.

"Already, I feel like it's a good thing," said Sister Mary Ann.

("That Place Called Home" is available from Servant Publications for $10.99. Call 734-677-6490. Sister Mary Ann will autograph copies on Sept. 13, 7 p.m., at The Book House in Stuyvesant Plaza, Guilderland; on Sept. 19, 6 p.m., in the Diocesan Pastoral Center in Albany; and on Oct. 21, 3 p.m., at Borders Books in Colonie.)

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