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"There was never any dichotomy for me [between] being Catholic and having a gay child," declared Penny Smith-Bogert of St. Matthew's parish in Voorheesville.

Ms. Smith-Bogert is a board member for Fortunate Families, a support network for Catholic parents and families with children under the LGBTQ+ umbrella. ("LGBTQ+" refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, queer or questioning one's sexual identity.)

Ms. Smith-Bogert is also the mother of two children: Jessica, 33, and Aaron, 28. Aaron came out as gay while he was in high school.

When he told her, his mother said, there was never any question of acceptance: "The only thing I ever thought about was, 'Will he be safe?'"

That's a common concern for parents of children who are LGBTQ+. At a recent prayer vigil in Albany for victims of the June 12 mass shooting at a gay nightclub in Orlando, Fla., Bishop Edward B. Scharfenberger was quoted by the Times Union newspaper as saying that "any form of stereotyping of people because of their faith, because of their sexuality, because of their nationality, because of their race, is contrary to our understanding of human beings."

For his part, Pope Francis stated in an interview in late June that Christians should apologize for having marginalized people in the gay community: "The Church must say it is sorry for not having behaved as it should many times, many times -- [and] when I say the 'Church,' I mean we Christians, because the Church is holy; we are the sinners. We Christians must say we are sorry."

He added that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is clear in noting that LGBTQ+ people "must not be discriminated against. They must be respected, pastorally accompanied."

The catechism also states that "homosexual persons are called to chastity." The Albany Diocese is home to a chapter of Courage, a support group for people with same-sex attractions striving to follow the teachings of the Catholic Church. The confidential group meets twice a month. (Call 518-496-4771.)

After Aaron came out, Ms. Smith-Bogert began attending a local chapter of an advocacy group for families. Then she learned of a national faith-based organization called "Fortunate Families."

Fortunate Families calls itself "a resource and networking ministry with Catholic parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children," promoting "personal, meaningful and respectful conversation, especially within our parishes and with our pastors and bishops."

The group has worked with Mary Fay, the Albany diocesan coordinator of marriage formation and family life, on connecting Catholic parents of LGBTQ+ children with resources.

Ms. Smith-Bogert has supported Fortunate Families for years and has been secretary for its board for the past year and a half. Although the organization is based in Albany, she is the only board member from the area.

"Most of our meetings are via the internet," she said, noting that board members live all over the country. The board is planning an in-person meeting Oct. 15 in Albany (at a location to be announced later) that will include a gathering for parents to interact with the board, share stories and support one another.

Ms. Smith-Bogert noted that Fortunate Families also offers "listening parents:" people who are willing to share their own experiences and listen to other parents and families who need support after a child comes out, or at other times. In fact, the woman who got Ms. Smith-Bogert interested in Fortunate Families was a listening parent.

The board member's eventual goal is to make Fortunate Families unnecessary because LGBTQ+ people are totally accepted and welcomed. She also hopes to see a Fortunate Families ministry formed in her parish.

Aaron supports his mother's involvement with Fortunate Families, although he is not currently a practicing Catholic. Ms. Smith-Bogert said he "thinks it's a little silly" that an organization like Fortunate Families needs to exist today, but "he's proud that I'm involved in doing this and helping other parents."

(For more information, go to www.fortunatefamilies.com or call 518-694-5508.)[[In-content Ad]]

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