Big family greets tiny new member

On May 7, the Marra family -- Joan, David and their eight children, members of St. Mary's Church in Waterford -- welcomed a new child: Angela Marie.

But shortly after her birth, she was rushed to surgery to correct a malformed spine and to drain fluid that had collected on her brain due to spina bifida and hydrocephalus.

"She was strong and came through her first surgery easily," said Mrs. Marra. "We have been praying for her health and her healing. We are praying that she can live a normal, functional life, and have her independence."

Getting ready

When the Marras were first told about Angela's condition while she was still in the womb, they were warned by doctors to prepare for the worst.

"We were devastated," Mrs. Marra recalled. "We needed to relinquish the 'normal' child we thought we were going to have. Through prayer, we joyfully prepared for the extraordinary child we were going to have. We're ready to accept her as God chose to give her to us."

Mrs. Marra and her husband are realistic about the challenges Angela will face throughout her life. She will certainly undergo more surgeries and live with a number of permanent disabilities.

Nevertheless, "she looks perfect and acts like a normal baby," Mrs. Marra reported. "Even the neurosurgeon is impressed with how well and strong she is. But we're not out of the woods yet; we still have more testing and more surgery."

Prayer has been a large part of Angela's short life: the Marras, friends of all denominations and their parish family at St. Mary's have been "very supportive." Mrs. Marra believes that "all the prayers definitely helped."

Off to home

When she is released from the hospital, Angela will join the Marra household in Clifton Park, where life revolves around keeping the family "peaceful and united," according to Mrs. Marra.

The children are homeschooled, and enjoy hockey and soccer, which they play in the back-yard soccer field and ice rink their father built for them.

"We like being together," Mrs. Marra said. "We're united. We are surrounded by so much love."

Large family

The Marras' other children are Catherine, 14; Joseph, 11; Monica, 9; Peter, 8; Timothy, 7; Christina, 5; Michael, 4; and Joanne, 2. Parenting such a large family "isn't as hard as it looks," Mrs. Marra said.

All of the kids help out. Even the youngest know they need to make their bed every morning. Catherine pitches in with the laundry, and Monica vacuums. Older children look after their younger siblings, and nobody gets away with shirking homework.

A typical day begins with prayer and progresses to schoolwork. In the afternoons, the children play and meet friends. Evening is family time.

"It's busy, but it works," she said.

Faith first

As for the future, Mrs. Marra's hopes are high: "We want prosperity and success for [the children], but we hope they never lose their faith. I hope they all find their vocation in life and are happy doing it. We want their faith to be a joyful thing that they voluntarily choose to follow. The Catholic faith is a joyful way of life, and we want it to become a good part of their lives."

Mrs. Marra admits that her choice to be a stay-at-home mom and primary educator of her children isn't "the most glamorous choice" she could have made, but she believes it was the most important one.

"Parents are the number-one influence on a child's life," she said. "Women don't need to apologize for staying home with their children."

Supports

Mrs. Marra draws strength from her belief, turning to Church teachings and to Mary for courage, confidence and inspiration.

"Marriage and motherhood is a lofty vocation," she explained. "It's not a humdrum thing to do. What I do is important; it's not a second choice. Catholic mothers should be really proud of what they do."

Now, Mrs. Marra and her husband have another reason to be proud, and they are waiting for her to come home.

"We'll bring Angela home when we can, and go on," she told The Evangelist. "We're focused on Angela's health and being together as a family. It's good that she is here."

(5/13/04) [[In-content Ad]]