Be strong; resist 'Samson'

TNT, the cable channel, has an odd Christmas gift for you: a story from the Old Testament. I suggest you return it.

"Samson and Delilah" is the fifth in a series of Bible films produced for TNT. The previous efforts -- about Abraham, Jacob, Joseph and Moses -- not only have been well done but also have improved each time in their talent for taking stories from Scripture and turning them into watchable films.

That streak is over. "Samson and Delilah" has very little to recommend it, although it starts off arrestingly with cross-cut imagery that links the subjugation of Israel by the Philistines and an angel's annunciation that Samson would be born to a barren woman. But it's downhill after that. Not even the jawbone of a convenient ass skeleton can save it.

Slim plot

The basic problem with this film is that while the story of Samson and Delilah has all the elements a film-maker could crave -- sex and violence, for example, along with betrayal and a rousing finish -- there really isn't much to the story.

Go to the Book of Judges to check it out for yourself. You can read Samson's life in about 10 minutes, and Delilah appears for just a few lines. Trying to turn that into a four-hour TV film gives a lot of room for a screenwriter's imagination, and with that freedom comes a load of invention, inversion and just plain nonsense.

Thus we have the creation of a fictional Philistine general, played by Dennis Hopper, who is more out of place here than the clock in Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar." Hopper has played so many contemporary crazies that it's difficult to accept him as a ruthless military man who goes a little soft when it comes to Samson. He's looked silly in cowboy gear in the westerns he has made; he looks even weirder in a 3,000-year-old get-up that includes what appears to be a xylophone in his hair.

Not content to make things up, the script also alters the Bible, placing Delilah on the scene when Samson kills the lion, for example, and eliminating the foxes from the burning of the fields (no doubt animal activists would have protested).

No one there

Then there are the title characters. Elizabeth Hurley as Delilah has nothing to do for three hours but hang around the palace in Gaza, waiting for her chance to romp with Samson. When we finally get to it, her tempting of him is about as sexually charged as a phone solicitor's pitch to get you to switch long-distance carriers.

Eric Thal in the lead role comes across as more Tarzan than biblical judge. He wrestles -- although not very convincingly -- with a lion (played in part by a Muppet) and flexes his muscles instead of acting.

Of course, it's a little difficult to act when given lines filled with symbolic pomposity about seeing God only when you're blind and finding God only when you're not looking. Stuffing like that fills the final 45 minutes. Meanwhile, one of the most portentous lines in the Bible -- Judges 16:22 -- is ignored.

No director there

Finally, there is the direction by Nicolas Roeg, who is noted for his daring film-making. You couldn't prove it by this one. After the opening ten minutes, "Samson and Delilah" becomes a routine film that is often chopped into too many needless cut-aways.

Furthermore, the handling of the crowd scenes is clumsy. Watching the Israelites supposedly working themselves into a frenzy to attack the Philistines, my wife Mary said wryly: "This is like a high school play. Maybe college."

Because of Christmas, there are plenty of religious specials on TV this month. You can find several that are far superior to "Samson and Delilah." Let's hope TNT's next effort, about King David, restores the progress of this biblical series.

("Samson and Delilah" debuts on TNT Dec. 8 and 11. It will be repeated several times during December.)

(12-05-96)

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