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A children's book made Toni Raiten-D'Antonio reevaluate her life.

Her kids understood it right away. "The Velveteen Rabbit" teaches people that their appearance or abilities don't matter; if they are loved and know how to return love, they can morph into what author Margery Williams termed "Real."

As Ms. Raiten-D'Antonio writes, "You don't have to be perfect to be worthy."

But at the time she read the book with her daughters, Ms. Raiten-D'Antonio had been struggling with thoughts that she wasn't thin enough and her house wasn't clean enough or big enough. She says the fable haunted her for 20 years.

Now, the Long Island-based social worker and psychotherapist is the author of "The Velveteen Principles," which applies the message of the story to real life. She will speak at the annual Complementary Therapies Conference March 22 in Albany about the spiritual elements of the book.

The Center for Complementary Therapies at St. Mary's Hospital at Amsterdam and the hospital's Auxiliary will sponsor the day-long conference, which also includes small-group discussions and activities.

The Center for Complementary Therapies focuses on supporting healing through healing touch, centering prayer, meditation by walking a labyrinth and other techniques.

In an interview, Ms. Raiten-D'Antonio said contemporary culture discourages people from being authentic. She cited one reason: Electronic forms of communication, like email and texting, are shallow and create misunderstandings.

Further, she said, the media idealize false and destructive images. "Open a magazine, turn on the television, and you're bombarded with images of perfect people," she told The Evangelist. "We feel on an unconscious level we are dissatisfied with ourselves. We just feel chronically miserable."

This can spill into other relationships and cause feelings of inadequacy. Ms. Raiten-D'Antonio's 13 principles ad-dress the difficulty of living a genuine life: how to be courageous, empathetic and comfortable with emotions, for example.

Participants at the conference will be invited to talk about the emotional barriers in their own lives. The conference is open to anyone interested in the topic, as well as nurses, caregivers, pastoral care associates and social workers.

All programs at the complementary therapies center help people "move toward their center of peace," said Sister Rita Jean DuBrey, CSJ, director there. Though Ms. Raiten-D'An-tonio is a self-described secular therapist, Sister Rita Jean says her ideas are inspiring from a Catholic perspective.

"Becoming real is a lifetime process, and that is spirituality," the director noted.

The conference will be held March 22 at the Holiday Inn in Albany; cost is $100, including lunch. Call 841-7146.

(03/11/10) [[In-content Ad]]

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