Anniversary of attacks will bring back grief

"We experience events, places and people that trigger an association in our brain," explained Rev. John Malecki, staff psychologist at the Albany diocesan Consultation Center.

Human beings, he said, are "hard-wired" for that kind of psychological association. The question is not whether it will happen, but how to deal with it.

Impact

Since this is the first anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks on the U.S., Father Malecki said, people may be just starting to face their grief.

"I favor anniversaries," he remarked. "It puts us in touch with unfinished business. With each anniversary, there may be some healing, or it may stir up some pain that needs to get stirred up to get some completion. The really respectful thing is to say, `You're an individual, and you're going to work through this in your own way.'"

Media attention

"I would encourage it," he said. "If it upsets them, they need to be upset. It's because it's stirring up some unfinished business that needs to be looked at and `leaned into.' Too often, people say, `Don't look at those pictures because it will upset you.' As a therapist, I would say it would be very helpful for you to look at them. We are so focused on not upsetting people that we keep them from some healthy grieving. That upset may serve in healing."

In fact, he said, the trauma of Sept. 11 was so severe that for many people, "parts of their psyche get split off as a means of survival. There is an appropriate denial. At the anniversary, a beautiful thing can take place: You begin to do some healing, to get those split-off parts reintegrated."

The therapist said it's wrong to refer to Sept. 11 as an event. Just as scientists define matter as "bundled energy," he said, 9/11 is more than a day: "It's a process we can enter into to lead to our wholeness."

(09-05-02) [[In-content Ad]]