Anger can be controlled and channeled

Shakespeare called it "inflaming wrath; a rage whose heat hath this condition, that nothing can allay, nothing but blood." In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it's "a desire for revenge."

Those are somewhat frightening definitions of the capital sin of anger. Dr. Henry Hughes prefers "excessive annoyance."

However it's defined, anger is a problem for many Catholics -- and Lent is a good time to work on deflating it.

Reaction

Dr. Hughes, a therapist who leads anger-management groups at the diocesan Consultation Center and the Counseling for Laity Office, believes that anger is actually a secondary emotion in situations.

Annoyance, he explained, is a common and healthy reaction when someone encounters injustice. But annoyance is different from anger. An angry person interprets another's actions as a transgression or violation of a moral code and feels they're under attack -- even if it's not so.

The therapist used the example of road rage. For the angry person, he said, "`I could've been hit' carries as much anger as `I was hit,'" even though "it didn't happen."

Healthy?

Dr. Hughes believes the idea of "healthy anger" is often used to defend abusive behavior. If a husband yells at his wife, for instance, the anger is often demeaning and disrespectful, and leads to a breakdown in the relationship.

He noted that in his anger-management groups, what many participants want is justification for their anger, not change.

"I say, `Well, if it works, full speed ahead,'" he stated. Then the participants often admit, "Well, it's not working."

People may defend anger as being the impetus to "get things done," such as the person who pushes for harsher prison sentences after a relative is murdered. But Dr. Hughes argued, "What about calm determination?"

People are more likely to accomplish a goal, he noted, if they put aside their anger and look for a productive way to use their energy.

Rage reduction

Dr. Hughes said that angry people need to ask themselves whether they're creating their own anger, and remind themselves that anger is self-defeating and hurtful, attitudes they want to give up.

The therapist said his patients often feel embarrassed at constantly interrupting their own thoughts as they struggle to recover from anger. However, he compared the process to getting braces on crooked teeth: painful at first, but ultimately rewarding.

"Is my emotion getting me where I want to be?" people can ask themselves. "What are the other person's issues? Why am I demanding that he be perfect? Is what I'm thinking helpful? Is it fact? If I keep thinking this, am I going to reach my goals? Am I going to be in conflict with others?"

In working on such new behaviors, said Dr. Hughes, people can move from "demanding behavior" to "preferred behavior." For example, instead of saying angrily to a latecomer, "You should be on time," they might say, "It would be better if you were on time."

Assertiveness

While the Bible speaks of "turning the other cheek" and meekness is the opposite of anger on the list of capital sins and virtues, Dr. Hughes said it's okay to be assertive.

There's a difference, he said, between anger and simply standing up for oneself, saying: "This is my life; how do I make this the best, most productive time I can?"

"You get to use your time on this earth as you choose to do it," he added.

(Dr. Hughes will lead two anger-management programs in the coming weeks:

(* a one-session workshop, "Overcoming Anger," April 28, 7-9 p.m., at the Pastoral Center in Albany, sponsored by the Consultation Center. Cost is $10 ($12 after April 21). To register, call the Consultation Center at 489-4431;

(* a four-session anger management group at the Counseling for Laity Office in the Pastoral Center, for four consecutive Tuesdays, starting April 15, 7-8:30 p.m. Cost is $30 per session. Call 453-6625 to register. A pre-group interview required.)

What Catechism teaches

From the Catechism of the Catholic Church: "Anger is a desire for revenge. `To desire vengeance in order to do evil to someone who should be punished is illicit,' but it is praiseworthy to impose restitution `to correct vices and maintain justice.' If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin. The Lord says, `Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgment'" (2302).

"In the Sermon on the Mount, the Lord recalls the commandment, `You shall not kill,' and adds to it the proscription of anger, hatred and vengeance. Going further, Christ asks His disciples to turn the other cheek, to love their enemies. He did not defend Himself and told Peter to leave his sword in its sheath" (2262).

(3/20/03) [[In-content Ad]]