April 6, 2018 at 1:53 p.m.
REFLECTION
A monument to Aunt Agnes
Most families have an Aunt Agnes: the relative who's always there when needed, who never asks anything in return. In pictures, Aunt Agnes is usually in the background doing work - work for which we've rarely thanked her.
Whenever people would complain, it was Aunt Agnes who would shrug, smile and say something that would put everything into perspective. It's no wonder she has lived such a long and healthy life: She embodies what it means to be a survivor.
It hasn't always been easy for Aunt Agnes. In 1971, her oldest daughter was killed by a drunk driver. In a tragedy like that, most of us would be bitter for the rest of our lives, but not my Aunt Agnes. That tragedy reinforced her faith and made her a stronger person.
"I guess God loved my Margie so much, He wanted to bring her to heaven," she told me after the funeral. She also thanked me for coming and for helping her during such a difficult time.
I was 13 years old and my aunt had lost her oldest child, and she was thanking me for going to the wake. I thought if that had occurred to me, I'd be breaking glasses and screaming at everyone, especially God.
My Aunt Agnes was married for more than 50 years to my Uncle Frank. They were similar in many ways, and always dependable. When Uncle Frank died a few years ago, my Aunt Agnes missed him so much. "He was my best friend," she'd always tell me. "He was always so calm and such a great father to the kids."
In her apartment, there are pictures of Uncle Frank in just about every room. It's like he never left.
We live in an age when people become celebrities for doing nothing, but people like my Aunt Agnes and Uncle Frank are the ones we should be celebrating. Uncle Frank was a war hero during Korea, but never made a big deal of it. My Aunt Agnes has served people her entire life, simply out of love and caring for others.
Aunt Agnes now lives at Our Lady of Hope Residence in Latham. When I visit, everyone remarks on how wonderful she is. My aunt always insists on making me food. I'd love to take her out to eat, but I see the pleasure she gets in preparing a meal and watching me sit down to eat with her. I could never disappoint her and tell her I'm not hungry.
We've had talks about the Depression and Pearl Harbor. She's told me about the day her mom brought a baby home: my mother.
My Aunt Agnes has described Albany in such detail that when I drive through the city, I sometimes feel like I'm back in the 1930s or '40s. "We lived on McArdle Avenue," Aunt Agnes once told me, "right next door to the Kennedy family. My sister Marie used to babysit for their youngest child, the writer William Kennedy.."
People like my Aunt Agnes never have monuments made in their honor. That would embarrass her. But for her 90th birthday, we'll tell her how much we love her and thank her for all the simple, kind things she's done through the years.
We'll make sure that, in all the photos that day, she'll be in the center - and she will not carry one platter of food all day.
(Mr. Rightmyer, a parishioner at Our Lady of Grace Church in Ballston Lake, teaches English in the Bethlehem School District.)[[In-content Ad]]
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