A love without limits

It was a crisp autumn morning, with bright blue skies and a soft, cool breeze. God was clearly the author of the day. It was picture-perfect.

The wedding I attended that morning was similarly picture-perfect. The bride wore a floor-length satin gown shimmering with pearls and a beaming smile on her face. Like most grooms, this one appeared a bit nervous, but seemed calmed by the glow of his life partner as she was escorted down the aisle to his side.

The celebrant of the liturgy spoke of God's providence in bringing the couple together, and God's presence in their lives on that day and forever to come. The marriage sacrament was awe-inspiring, helping each of us who witnessed it to deepen our own commitments to God and to each other.

Danielle and Jeremy met through an internet dating service for singles. Once they discovered their compatibility, their relationship blossomed quickly. They had found their comfort zone, they say, and their many conversations revealed parallel traits: personality, work ethic, sense of humor.

Their online dating profiles contained no hint of their physical disabilities. As they emailed and chatted over the phone, they simply did not know.

Jeremy did not know that Danielle stands only about four foot three inches tall and has multiple birth defects; in her youth she was a March of Dimes poster child. Danielle did not know that Jeremy has suffered severe rheumatoid arthritis since he was a child, has had both of his hips replaced and needs daily shots to control his pain.

They did not know. And once they met, it did not matter. And as I watched their wedding that day, I barely knew myself.

Only twice was I even remotely aware of Danielle and Jeremy's physical limitations. Once was at the start of their vows, as the couple began to freely declare their faithfulness. The priest asked them to join hands. They could not. Because one of Danielle's hands needs to hold the cane supporting her weight, they could join only one hand.

So, hand-in-hand, before God, each other and the rest of us, they pledged their unconditional love, a love that will sustain them through their lives. The bride teared up, and so did I.

The second time was at the wedding reception - a grand party, full of tradition, tasty Italian food and excellent conversation. The couple made their way to the center of the hall for their first dance, then locked together in a somewhat unusual embrace.

The groom's arms were aimed downward, his hands resting comfortably on his wife's shoulders, which seemed to stabilize him, keep his arthritic body straight and direct his gaze toward his love. The bride likewise steadied herself by holding on to her husband's arms.

They danced as one - which, of course, they now were. I teared up again.

Like all of us who are called to this particular vocation, their married life will be full of challenges, perhaps more than most. It will not be as flawless as their perfect day. There will be joyous times and difficult times, elation and heartache.

But even in the most trying of circumstances, God's grace will see them through. He is the glue that ties their bond and makes it uniquely special.

Danielle and Jeremy have some limitations, but through God's providence and in His presence, their love is truly limitless.

(Kathleen Gallagher is director of pro-life activities for the New York State Catholic Conference, which advocates for the state's bishops on public policy matters.)

(12/17/09) [[In-content Ad]]