A HURTING TIME: SHARED SORROW

A few yards away, standing on the back porch of the rectory, the custodian was telling stories about how much that same pastor meant to him personally and the parish at large. He ticked off the priest's accomplishments, big and small: sending homeless people to the nearby cafe for meals that he would pay for...bringing people, especially young ones, into the Church...playing penny-ante golf with friends and then donating the money to the food pantry...opening the playground to the neighborhood kids, rather than keeping it locked up out of fear of insurance claims.

The custodian's words are no doubt being repeated in different versions across the 14 counties of the Albany Diocese as Catholics struggle to come to grips with the dismaying news that six priests have been removed from ministry for sexual misconduct that occurred 15 to 30 years ago.

For months, the sexual abuse scandal in the Church had been an abstract debate that personally touched very few people, most notably the victims and their families. Now the scandal wears the faces of six priests; through them, it has slammed into the lives of numberless people.

Those priests have been stationed in dozens of parishes, schools and other assignments during their careers. Together, they totalled 200 years in the priesthood. Over that time, they connected with countless thousands of Catholics: witnessing their marriages, baptizing their infants, burying their grandparents, leading them through sadness and shame, retrieving them from sin.

Those thousands of Catholics are now trying to weigh a situation that seems incapable of measurement. On one side of the scale is the priest they know, admire, respect, even love. On the other side is the fact that the priest committed a heinous sin. Balancing those two notions -- the priest who did so much good versus the priest who did something so evil -- cannot be accomplished overnight.

To some, the removal is undeniably correct, given the grievous nature of the sin. To others, the decision ignores years of good work and judges a man on the basis of a mistake he made up for many times over. To many more, the situation is just too much to bear right now and too much to contemplate immediately; they have the capacity now only to weep while wondering, to cope while comforting one another.

One special group has another perspective; the adolescent victims of the priests. Those victims are now men and women in their 30s, 40s and 50s. They know much more acutely than the rest of us the mixed emotions occasioned by abuse; they have lived uneasy lives due to betrayal by someone they considered a role model, advisor and guide. Perhaps the victims would say to their fellow Catholics: "Now you know a little bit about how we feel: torn by conflicting emotions, confused, stunned, at a loss. But we victims must hold those feelings in silence and anonymity, without the consolation and commiseration of other Catholics."

Now is the time for tears, anger, disappointment and sorrow. As we go through those emotions, Catholics in the Albany Diocese can unite in prayer for the victims, their families, the six priests and the hundreds of other priests who are faithful to their vows.

Next, as we recover from our shock, Catholics can offer solace to those who are in pain because they are victims or because they have been affected in some deep way by the six removals.

Eventually, as we seek to move on, all Catholics can come together in solidarity to replace what has been lost: innocence and trust...to rebuild what has been laid low: respect for the priesthood and confidence in the Church...and to restore what has been taken away: love for the Faith and hope for the future.

(07-04-02)